Children's words meanings of children's words. Children say - funny sayings, phrases and conclusions of children

New and old funny sayings of children.

Karina, 6 years old
- Karina, what do you want to work when you grow up?
- A shopkeeper. Sell bicycles, scooters and toys to children.
Lisa 6 years old
Lisa was 6 years old. I put her to bed and say: “Here is your bear, hug him and fall asleep soon,” and she answers me so sadly: “Mommy, will anyone alive sleep with me today?”
Radomir, 4 years old
We play with our son (he was 4 years old) to the hospital. He, of course, is a doctor, I am a patient.
Hello, what hurts you?
- Arm.
- Which?
- Left.
- Which is your left hand? (still confused, where is the right, where is the left).
- The one on the left - I do not give up.
The doctor is confused, but not for long.
“I think you have them both on the left.”
Yaroslava, 7 years old
My daughter was 7 years old, she is a compassionate girl - she will bring a wounded bird, then a homeless kitten, then a puppy. Everyone was treated, fed, housed. But everything has a limit.
- Yaroslava, so that no more birds, cats, homeless dogs would be brought home. Understood?
- I understand ... Mom, what if I meet a homeless horse?
***
- I was in the stomach?
- Was.
- Aren't my toys left there?

Elizabeth, 9 years old
Lizonka ate a chocolate candy. Grandpa says: "Treat your little sister, don't be greedy." Lisa holds out her chocolate-stained pen to her two-year-old sister and says: “Here, lick it.”
Aina, 5 years old
They sent Aina to visit her aunt, she comes from there all smeared with condensed milk, I tell her: “Daughter, then you ate condensed milk without asking?” And Aina replies: “No, mom, it was my aunt who fed me condensed milk without asking!”
Philip, 9 years old
For dinner, I fried white cabbage. Sonya, 6, says indignantly: “I want cauliflower! Where is my cauliflower? Philip, 8 years old, decided to joke: “Mom didn’t have time to color it! Eat this one!”
***
We sit and have dinner. Anya whines:
- My stomach hurts.
Me, annoyed:
- Because you take in your mouth all sorts of filth!
Anya, without looking up from her plate:
- Actually, you cook it...
***
We are driving in the car, the navigator is working. You can hear: “After five hundred meters - the exit!” Polina (2 years 10 months), horrified:
- Who will eat?!
***
Vasilisa (1 year 8 months) found chalk and eats it like candy with pleasure. I tell her:
- People don't eat chalk!
To which she replies:
- Only children! - and continues to eat further.

Maxim, 3 years old
Parents: Maxim, if you eat, you will grow big.
Maxim: Parents, are you big already?
- Yes.
- Why are you eating?

Yana, 5 years old
Yana brings me a plate to wash and says: "Please, Your Quantity!" I collapsed with laughter. I mixed up the words "Majesty" and "Number".
Son (6 years old) asks:
- Mom, give me something sweet.
- There is chocolate, candy, cookies, sugar, finally. What will you be?
- Give herring.
***
I sent my son to the store.
- Buy sour cream, and buy bread for change.
Came back with no purchases.
- Where are the shopping?
- There was no sour cream.
- And the bread?
- Where can I get change?
***
Dima (3 years 9 months) unwraps a candy.
- Dim, will you share with me?
- No I can not!
- Why?
With a happy look
- Because I'm a GREED!
- Is it good to be greedy?
- Well, - chewing on the candy, - not bad!

Ivan, 5 years old
Recently, to my joking question why he wants a sister so much, Ivan replied: “To get me toys from under the sofa!”

Natalia, 3 years and 8 months
- Mom, when I was sitting in your tummy (she knows that I was in my mother’s tummy, and then she was born), was it dark there?
- Yes, my daughter, it's dark.
“Didn’t the folder lead the light there?”

Matvey, 4 years old
In the kindergarten there was a test for flat feet. The children took turns getting their bare feet into a basin of water, and then leaving footprints on the rubber mats. The nurse used the traces left to determine the presence or absence of flat feet. In the evening, my son happily rushed to meet me and announced with delight: “Mom, I have a FAT FOOT!”

Sergey, 3 years old
The son in the garden constantly fought with the boy Vanya. At home, they had an explanatory conversation that it was impossible to fight in the kindergarten, in extreme cases, you could hit back ... Once again he comes from the kindergarten, we ask: “How are you, did you fight today?”
- No, he says, he didn’t fight with anyone at all and didn’t fight Vanya either, I just caught up with him, squeezed him in a corner and fought back for a long, long time ...

***
Tyomka was 6 years old, his wife scolded him for something, he sits, pouted.
The husband comes up to him and asks:
- What, Timokha, is your mother strict?
To which the child calmly replies:
- Dad, it was your choice... But I got this one...

Tanyusha, 5 years old
Mom scolds: Daughter, why are you not listening to me?
Tanyusha: Mom, I want to listen to you, but my heart, so disgusting, won't let me.
Pavel, 3 years old
Pavlusha is 3 years old, and he was sick. Dad is on a business trip, talking to mom on the phone, mom is happy, laughing.
Pavlusha, so seriously:
- You can't be happy! We are still sick!
Ivan, 5 years old
We go with Vanya to the kindergarten, we are in a hurry.
Me: Let's cut a corner here - we'll get there faster.
He: And how will people live here if we cut the corner?
Ekaterina 4 years
I work as a design engineer.
And then one evening after work, at dinner, my three-year-old daughter Katyusha asked me: “Mom, what did you do at work today?” I answer her: "Drill." To which my daughter asks me a counter question: “Why didn’t you work?”
* * *
Sveta, 5 years old:
We talk with children about why people need clothes:
- In winter, so as not to freeze, and in summer?
- In order not to be dishonored, - Sveta declares.

Xenia, 9 years old
The wife found that Ksenia had locked herself in the dressing room, and reprimanded her:
- Why did you close? You don't live here alone!
Ksenia in perfect calmness answers:
- ...That's why!
***
Sasha (3 years 5 months old) was playing with a puppy and suddenly started licking the couch. Grandmother saw and began to scold him:
- Sasha, what are you doing! You can’t lick the sofa, infectious germs live on it, you can get sick!
Two days later, my grandmother fell ill and lay in bed. Sasha approached her and asked with sadness in his voice:
- What, granny, licked the sofa?
***
My friend Valya came to visit us. My son (4 years old) asks her:
- Aunt Valya, where do you live?
- Near Moscow.
He elaborates:
- In the underground?
* * *
Sonya, 4 years old:
- Why did they call me Sonya if you wake up in the kindergarten every morning?
* * *
We sit at work. The 5-year-old daughter of a colleague calls, asks to call her mother to the phone. She is answered:
- And my mother is not there, she is in the bank.
A long silence followed by the question:
- How did she get in there?

Children's karate section (children 4-5 years old). Conducted by Andrei Mstislavovich and Gennady Miroslavovich. Of course, children cannot pronounce Andrei's patronymic, so they simply call him "Andrey", which Gennady makes fun of - they say, he did not deserve it.
The story itself: an open session, a break. One of the kids separates from the crowd and goes to the "sensei". Hesitating, he asks:
- Gennady Mimosralovich, can I go to the toilet?
When Andrei's laughter subsided, Gennady gathered all the children and said:
- From this day on, I'm just Gena for you! And nothing else!
* * *
Nadia, 5 years old:
In the morning, leaving for work to the father: “Bye, dad, thanks for stopping by ...”
* * *
We were going to kindergarten, but my son resists, does not want to wear warm pants. I AM:
- Do you want to leave your mother without grandchildren?
He, sighing:
- Well, only for the sake of grandchildren!
* * *
My daughter (3 years 10 months) conducted an educational program for me yesterday:
- The groom is the one who buys ice cream and kisses, and the husband is the one who nails the shelves at home and eats.

Alexey, 5 years old
We go home with Alexei from the kindergarten. He asks: “What is sugar made from?” I told him for a long time about beets and sugar cane. Lyosha listened to me carefully and again asked: “Why then did my grandfather say in the morning that he went to donate blood for sugar?”
***
Child (9 years):
- Mom, why is Aibolit painted in all children's hospitals? He's a veterinarian!
***
My daughter and I went to the doctor. The doctor showed pictures of a cow, a pig, a sheep and a horse, and asked them to name these animals in one word.
- Cattle!
The doctor laughed and said that, in fact, it is correct, but you need to say "pets." Daughter without hesitation:
- That's two words!
***
The four-month-old youngest tries unsuccessfully to crawl on the bed. Nearby, a three-year-old senior flops down on his stomach: - Look, worm,
how real boas crawl!
***
A young mother, a nurse by profession, quite often takes her son (4-5 years old) with her to work, and in order to observe the internal
hospital routine, sewed him a white coat and cap. The child, imbued with the rules of this routine, got hold of shoe covers somewhere and
gloves. I put them on, tied a gauze bandage, and went straight to the operating room. To a strict question: - What else is this? He replied with
a feeling of great pride and enduring dignity: - I am a microsurgeon.

Glory (9 years old):
- Again, at school, they sorted out the relationship with Maxim! I told him that he was marginalized and declassed lumpen. And he - that I'm a loser.
***
The six-year-old son does not understand anything of what his one-year-old brother says, and asks: “Mom, are you sure he is Russian?”
***
Ilya (8 years old) comes home from school. I'm asking:
- How was your day? How are you doing in school? Did you ask in class today?
I see that my son's answers are somehow evasive and vague. I decided to go ahead:
- Come on, give me your diary!
A short pause, then a cautious phrase:
- Mom, are you sure? Our relationship hasn't been very good lately...

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Introduction

During the period of mastering the system of the native language, children are characterized by active word creation. Word creation is one of the most important features of the development of a child's speech. This phenomenon was studied both in our country (N.A. Rybnikov, A.N. Gvozdev, K.I. Chukovsky, T.N. Ushakova, etc.), and abroad (K. and V. Stern, Ch . Baldwin and others). The facts collected by many researchers - linguists and psychologists - show that the first years of a child's life are a period of intense word creation. K.I. Chukovsky emphasized the creative power of the child, his amazing sensitivity to language, which are revealed especially clearly in the process of word creation and at the same time help to establish certain principles of grammatical compatibility, which determines the relevance of our study.

Scientific novelty lies in the analysis of new words in the child's speech, taking into account the phonetic, word-formation, lexical levels of the language.

The object of the work is children's speech.

The subject is "funny" words in the child's speech.

The purpose of the work is to analyze psycholinguistically "funny" children's words and identify the causes of their occurrence.

Achieving the goal involves solving a number of research tasks:

Observe the child's speech from the point of view of word creation.

Determine the role of psychological factors in the occurrence of language neoplasms in children.

To identify the features of the development and structure of the lexical-semantic system of the child's speech.

Identify and describe patterns of "new" words in the child's speech.

The scientific works of V.P. Glukhova, I.N. Gorelova, S.N. Zeitlin, R.M. Frumkina, developing a psycholinguistic concept of speech development in children.

The main methods of scientific research are descriptive, exploratory and psycholinguistic analysis.

The structure of the work is subject to the logic of scientific research and consists of an introduction, two paragraphs, a conclusion, a list of references.

word creation funny speech child

1. Children's word creation

Children's speech is considered as a representation of a special children's language system, which is, to a certain extent, autonomous, reflecting the level of cognitive development of the child reached by this moment and capable of satisfying his communicative needs. In this case, the very formulation of the question of the correctness or incorrectness of the child's speech becomes absurd, because the need for comparison with an adult standard disappears.

N.O. Rybnikova, A.N. Gvozdeva, T.N. Ushakova, S.N. Zeitlin and other researchers of children's speech have shown that the period of preschool age is a period of enhanced word creation for the child. At the same time, attention is drawn to the fact that some “new” words are observed in the speech of almost all children (“everyone”, “realistic”), while others are found in the “speech production” of only individual children (“toptun”, “dictun” and etc.).

Based on linguistic analysis, several “word-building models” were identified, according to which children from three to six years old form new words:

1. Part of a word is used as a whole word. “Shard words” appear (“groin” - “smell”, “jump” - “jump”, “sculpt” - what was molded from plasticine).

2. Attachment to the root of the word "foreign" affix or inflection ("smell", "cleverness", "has", "purginki" (snowflakes), etc.).

3. One word is made up of two (“synthetic words”). When such “synthetic” words are formed, those parts of the word that sound similar (“tastes” = “tasty” + “pieces”; “kolotok” = “pound” + “hammer”; “ulitsioner” - “street” + "policeman", etc.).

In the study of "fragment words" it was found that the child at first, as it were, rips out the stressed syllable from the word. Instead of the word "milk", the child says only "ko", later - "moko" and, finally, "milk". In the same way, different words and phrases are combined (“babesyana” - “grandmother of the monkey”, “mother's daughter” - that is, “mother's and father's daughter”, etc.).

Otherwise, those words are combined that sound different, but are constantly used together, for example, the words "tea" and "drink" (it turns out the verb "tea drink"), "take out" and "take" ("take out my splinter"), "all people "," all people "(all people)," in fact "(realistic). These words are built on the same principle as the "synthetic words" of adults: "collective farm", "state farm", "airplane", "universal" and many similar ones. In this form of word creation, the meaning of speech patterns that the child constantly hears is also manifested.

Word creation, as well as the assimilation of ordinary words of the native language, is based on the imitation of those speech patterns that are given to children by surrounding adults. By assimilating stereotypical speech constructions - "speech patterns", children try to understand the rules for using prefixes, suffixes, endings. At the same time, they quite unintentionally create new words - those that do not exist in the language, but which, in principle (according to the rules of word formation of the given language), are possible. Children's neologisms almost always correspond to the rules of the vocabulary of the language and are almost always grammatically "infallible", although sound combinations are always unexpected and unusual for adults.

There are words that are, as it were, primordially childish; in foreign psycholinguistics they are defined by the concept of "baby talk". These are words denoting: states (“bo-bo”), actions (“yum-yum”), sounds (“tuk-tuk”, “tik-tok”) and objects (“lyalya” - “doll”, “ byaka" - "bad"). It is interesting that similar words exist in all languages of the world. There may be several explanations for this.

First, many of these words are onomatopoeic. They are close to the real sounds of natural and artificial objects: "woof-woof" is very similar to the real barking of a dog, "beep-beep" is like a car horn signal, and "ding-ding" is like the sound of a bell. Even in the "adult" language there are such rhyming little-meaning elements that imitate the sound (for example, "tram-tararam", "ding-ding", "shurum-burum").

Secondly, children's words are built according to a “structural scheme” accessible to the child: as a rule, a consonant plus a vowel. It is not for nothing that the first words of the child are built precisely according to this model: “mother”, “dad”, “uncle”, “aunt”; an example is the “partially” childish word “baba” (about grandmother). The repetition of the same syllable (with slight modification) makes it easier for the child to memorize and use such a word. Somewhat later (by the age of three or four), more phonetically complex words (“backgammon”, “bang-bang”) appear in the speech of children.

Moving from the singular form to the plural form, the children change the inflection, and leave the stem unchanged (“hare, hares”, “kitten, kittens”). In this regard, the difference between the child's speech and our speech is very clear and understandable. We have “ear, ears”, the child will either say “ear, ears”, or one of the children said in the singular “ush”.

Children struggle with suppletivism in all its manifestations, so they say “humans” and not “people” until a certain age, or they may say “children” instead of “children”. I must say that this can be illustrated with examples from other areas, not necessarily from the area of noun inflection. In the same way, children eliminate suppletivism when there is a comparative degree of the adjective. That is, “good” will turn out “good” for the child, and not “better”.

Quite often we use nouns in the singular form, denoting some substance that consists of particles large enough to be observed separately and even manipulated in some way. Let's say peas are a collection of some peas. Peas Ї are at the same time some set; singular noun. Peas scattered across the floor. The child states: "The peas scattered on the floor" - it seems to him, apparently, illogical to use the word "peas" in relation to the multitude of these separate elements. Also, children say “potatoes”, “cabbages”, “carrots”, when they mean not one object, but many.

Up to a certain point, children can use uniform inflections in a certain case, regardless of the so-called type of declension. Or a single way to correlate an open-closed verbal stem. For example, it moves from an open stem ending in a vowel to a closed stem ending in a consonant, always with the help of an iota. Forms like “I’m looking for” appear, like “I play”, “I vacuum” and the like.

A subtle sense of language distinguishes the entire course of the formation of children's speech; it does not manifest itself only in word creation. Moreover, if we consider children's word creation not as a separate phenomenon, but in connection with the general development of the child's speech, then the conclusion suggests itself that it is based not on the child's special creative powers, but, on the contrary, on a pronounced stereotype of the work of his brain. The main mechanism here is the development of speech patterns (templates of the most hardened verb forms, declension of nouns, changes in adjectives according to degrees of comparison, etc.) and the widespread use of these patterns. The model for "creating" a new word can be given now, or it can be learned earlier, but it always exists.

The child should gradually, by trial and error, clarify the meaning of the word. It consists of a generalization of all situations in which it was used. The more words a child masters, the easier it is for him to clarify the area of meaning with which the word enters into a relationship of reference; in addition, he acquires the technique of operating with a new word and passes through all stages faster. In this development there is a huge amount of "garbage" - material that did not go to the construction of the language.

By the end of preschool age, children's word creation begins to "fade away": by the age of 5-6, the child has already firmly mastered the "standard" turns of speech used by adults. Now he subtly distinguishes various grammatical forms and freely orients himself in which one and when to apply.

So, word creation at a certain stage in the development of children's speech is a natural phenomenon and expresses insufficient mastery of the variety of grammatical forms of the native language; it is based on the same principles of the brain as the basis for the direct assimilation of the verbal material that we consciously give to our children.

2. "Funny" words in a child's speech

In the course of a psycholinguistic study, we observed and analyzed the speech of Nastya Vinokurova, who was 4 years and 5 months old.

As with any child, Nastya's age from 2 to 5 years is characterized by active word creation, the formation of new words, and the transformation of set expressions. In this case, “funny” words are often formed that seem like such to adults, but are completely logical from the point of view of the child.

The formation of "funny" words is based on their transformation at various language levels: phonetic, word-formation, lexical, phraseological and others.

So, taking into account phonetics, one can analyze some unusual words that appear in Nastya's speech. It is still difficult for a child to reproduce long words by ear, especially if they are borrowed from other languages. Therefore, at the age of two and a half three years, Nastya, instead of the verb “to photograph”, which was complex in its sound composition, pronounced “satagasilovat”. At the same time, the sound “f” disappeared, it was replaced by the sound “s”, which became part of the root, and the sonorous “r” did not succumb to pronunciation at all.

Children's words are most often built according to a “structural scheme” accessible to the child: a consonant plus a vowel. Therefore, little Nastya managed to pronounce the name of her sister only "Ilka", while it was necessary to say "Lerka". The combination of two nearby sonorants complicated the name, which was transformed into a child-friendly combination of a consonant and a vowel.

The inability to pronounce the sound “r” at the age of three also explains the emergence of the edible “mucalona”. Moreover, in the mind of the child, a connection has already appeared between such flour products as pasta and flour, which justifies the appearance of a “synthetic” word, in which the parts of known words are linked.

The name of the Chelyabinsk river Miass did not yield to Nastya's awareness, because it was not associated with any of the already familiar words. That is why the river began to be called "Meat", and Nastya, when she passes through the bridge, invariably says: "Oh, look, this is the Meat River!" Nastya replaced the foreign name of the drink “cocoa” with the word “kakava”, which confirms that it is easier for a child at an early stage of development to pronounce combinations of consonants and vowels.

At the word-formation level, children tend to add "alien" affixes or endings to the root, which are already known to the child and used by analogy with other words in order to unify the language to some extent. Therefore, instead of the word “jaw”, Nastya said “jaw”: “How do you move your jaw!”, endowing the human organ with a suffix characterizing the object. According to a similar model, the word "chicks" was formed instead of "chicks", which indicates Nastya's knowledge of the suffixes used when naming animal cubs.

Little Nastya of the workers who came to do repairs at their house preferred to call them “repairmen”, perhaps partly from a good attitude towards them (the diminutive suffix “-ik”), partly from the knowledge of the word “screw-ik”, and not “ repairer".

Often in Nastya's speech, one can hear the replacement of masculine nouns with feminine ones: “helmet” instead of “helmet”, “historian” instead of “history”. Undoubtedly, it matters how often the child uses fairly complex nouns in his speech in order to fix the gender.

Children usually form new verbs by adding "foreign" prefixes. At the same time, “adult”, ordinary words acquire an expressive, unexpected meaning. So, Nastya said: “I got up early in the morning, and you fell asleep”, Ї replacing the simple verb “slept” with a more appropriate one, in her opinion, in this case.

Sometimes in the speech of children there are redundant phrases, the appearance of which is due to the fact that the child cannot yet accurately reproduce a complex definition and is trying to supplement it with a more detailed lexical complex. For example, on a walk, Nastya says: “There goes a whipping mixer”, meaning a concrete mixer. At the same time, “beat” and “interfere” are synonymous. Or in the amusement park, Nastya says that she is not afraid of the “damn review”. In the mind of the child, the phrases “ferris wheel” and “ferris wheel” that have not yet been fixed in the lexicon are mixed, and the “synthetic” phrase does not at all include the reference word “wheel”.

Children tend to mix paronyms, which is explained by ignorance of the context of their use. So, Nastya said: “You all laugh, laugh. You are some kind of funny parents,” replacing the adjective “funny” with the word “funny”. At the same time, the use of just such a word is due to the situation in which the child finds himself.

Ignorance of certain words, including foreign ones, forces the child to replace them with Russian equivalents known to him. Nastya, at the mention of St. Isaac's Cathedral, says: "What is St. Isaac's fence?" And the laptop calls the "new beech". Hearing how the grandmother addresses her grandson: “You are sitting at my table just like an aristocrat,” Nastya happily adds: “Yes, like falling leaves!”

At the age of four or five years, the child only masters the language of adults, the meaning of stable combinations, phraseological units. Often children literally understand phraseological units, winged words, giving lexical meaning to each word, and not to the whole unity. During the autumn walk, little Nastya listened to how squirrels change their red coat, gradually turn gray so that in winter they are not so noticeable. After explaining, Nastya thought about it and asked: “And when the squirrel changes her coat, will you call me to take a look?” Thus, the figurative expression turned into a real short-term action in the mind of the child.

Children are always ready to create new turns themselves: so that dad would not be angry with her, Nastya, smiling, threatened him: “Don’t frown on me.” Thus, having destroyed the stable phrase “frown eyebrows”, she created her own using the word “eyes”, which, in her opinion, was more appropriate in a particular situation.

Conclusion

Children's word creation is considered in psycholinguistic research as one of the stages that every child goes through in mastering his native language. As a result of the perception and use in his speech of a large number of words that have common root and affix elements, the child "performs" analytical operations of dividing the words used into units corresponding to those that are called morphemes in linguistics, and syllabic elements in speech psychology.

Some "new" words are observed in the speech of almost all children ("everyone", "really"), while others are found in the "speech production" of only individual children ("toptun", "dictun", etc.).

The moment of awareness of the content of this or that semantic category, determined by the level of cognitive development achieved by the child, serves as a kind of trigger for the beginning of mastering a particular language category. So, it follows from this that children, as a rule, master almost simultaneously different-level means of expressing the same type of content: lexical, grammatical and phonetic.

Bibliography

1. Glukhov V.P. Fundamentals of psycholinguistics: textbook. manual for students of pedagogical universities / V.P. Glukhov. - M.: AST: Astrel. - 351 p.

2. Gorelov I.N. Fundamentals of psycholinguistics: textbook / I.N. Gorelov, K.F. Sedov. - M.: Labyrinth, 2008. - 320 p.

3. Leontiev A.A. Studies in children's speech. - In the book: Fundamentals of the theory of speech activity. - M., 1974. - p. 312 - 317.

4. Frumkina R.M. Psycholinguistics: textbook. allowance for students. higher textbook establishments. - 2nd ed., corrected. - M.: Publishing Center "Academy", 2006. - 320 p.

5. Zeitlin S.N. Language and child: Linguistics of children's speech: textbook. allowance for students. higher textbook establishments. - M.: Humanit. ed. center VLADOS, 2000. - 240 p.

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Tru-la-la

The players start counting aloud from one to one hundred, calling the numbers in turn. The task of the players is to say the word “true-la-la” instead of numbers that are divisible by 7 or include the word “seven” in their name (you can think of any other funny phrase; and instead of 7, choose another number, for example, 4). The one who makes a mistake is out of the game. The remaining participants start counting from the beginning. You need to keep score quickly, then misses happen often, and the game turns out to be very fun. The winner is the one who has never made a mistake.

Earth, air, water, fire

An interesting word game for children on the speed of thinking. The participants of the game form a circle, in the middle of which the driver stands. He throws a ball or a balloon to the players in turn, naming one of the elements: earth, air, water or fire. If the driver said the word “Earth!”, Then the one who caught the ball needs to quickly (while the driver counts to five) name some domestic or wild animal; to the word "Water!" the player responds with the name of a fish or aquatic animal; to the word "Air!" - the name of the bird (flying insect). At the word "Fire!" everyone should wave their hands. Anyone who makes a mistake or cannot name the animal is out. It is impossible to repeat the names of animals, fish and birds.

Word volleyball

In this game, participants stand in a circle and throw a ball or a balloon to each other. At the same time, the player who throws calls any noun, and the one who catches the ball needs to name a verb that is suitable in meaning, for example: the sun is shining, the dog is barking, etc. If the player calls an inappropriate verb, he is eliminated from the game.

All questions - one answer

In advance, you need to prepare cards with the names of various household items. These can be kitchen utensils, household appliances, household and other items, for example: a frying pan, a saucepan, a vacuum cleaner, an iron, a broom, a mop, etc.

The players sit in a circle. The facilitator approaches each participant and offers to pull out a piece of paper with the name of the subject from the hat (box). When everyone has sorted out the cards, the leader stands in the center of the circle, and the game begins. The host asks the players in turn a variety of questions, and the players must answer these questions only with the names of the items they got on the cards (in addition, only prepositions are allowed). Rules: you need to answer questions very quickly, while the one who is talking to the host is forbidden to laugh, while the rest of the participants can deliberately make him laugh.

Options for questions and answers:

What is your name? - Mop.
And what do you brush your teeth with in the morning - Vacuum cleaner.
What is the name of your hairstyle? - Washcloth.
And who are your friends? - Frying pans.
What do you have instead of eyes? - Spoons.

The main task of the presenter is to come up with such questions, the answers to which involuntarily cause laughter from both specific players and all other participants. The laughing player is out of the game. The most imperturbable participant who knows how to restrain his emotions wins.

Answers out of place

The essence of the game: you need to answer any questions of the host very quickly, without hesitation, with any proposal that is not related to the question asked. For example, the facilitator asks: “Isn’t the weather wonderful today?” The player needs to answer something like this: "I think today is Saturday." If he makes a mistake or answers in monosyllables (for example, says "yes", "no", "true" or "false"), then he is out of the game. One participant in the game cannot be asked more than three questions in a row. The leader's task is to try to confuse the player. For example, he asks: "Isn't it wonderful weather today?" The player replies, "I think today is Saturday." Host: Is today Saturday? Player: "I like to go to the movies." Host (quickly): “Do you like to go to the movies? One, two…”. Playing by inertia: "Yes" - that's it, he lost the dialogue and is out!

Sausage

This simple fun game that does not require any additional props can be played while sitting at a table. A leader is chosen, who asks everyone in turn a variety of questions. The task of the players is to give the same answer: “sausage” or related words: “sausage”, “sausage”, etc. The main thing is to answer with the most serious face. Whoever laughs first is out of the game. The winner is the player who will cope with his emotions to the end and will not succumb to the host's provocations. Laughter during the game is guaranteed!

Backwards

Fun outdoor game for kids. The host calls the participants words denoting the names of objects, and the players need to quickly find this item and hand it to the host. The difficulty lies in the fact that the presenter calls all objects “back to front”, for example: chyam, akzhol, agink, alquq (ball, spoon, book, doll). Fun for kids guaranteed!

Are you going to the ball?

A fun word game for quick reaction for a small company. The essence of the game: the participants are not allowed to laugh (and even smile!), as well as to pronounce the words: “yes”, “no”, “black” and “white”. The one who violates these conditions gives the phantom to the host of the game - any item he has, after which he leaves the game. When there is no longer a single player left in the game, everyone who has given away forfeits redeem them by completing fun tasks invented by the presenter.

The game begins with the host coming up to each player in turn with the words: “The lady sent you a golik and a broom, and a hundred rubles of money, ordered not to laugh, not to smile, not to say yes and no, black, white do not wear. Are you going to the ball?"

Examples of possible dialogs with player errors:

- Are you going to the ball?
- I'll go.
“Would you like to stay at home?”
— Not, I'll go. Ouch…

What color will your dress be? White?
— Yellow.
- Then the hat, of course, will be white?
- Not white, and pink. Ouch…

- Are you going in a carriage?
- Most likely in a carriage
What will you wear to the ball?
- Nice dress.
— Black?
— Blue.
- Will it be sewn especially for this ball?
- Of course.
“And you will be the most irresistible lady at the ball?”
- Necessarily.
- And you will kiss everyone in a row?
— Not! Ouch…

During the game, the host tries to make the one who answers laugh; in addition, he asks questions so that the forbidden words are spoken as soon as possible, and the players pay for it with forfeits.

If you have small children, carry a notepad with you! Because such phrases that kids sometimes give out must be written down. At a minimum, there will be something to remember and something to laugh at when the child grows up. In the meantime, we invite you to read the statements of other kids, the comicality of which will blow your mind. Good mood guaranteed 😉

Son (3.5 years old) crawls on the floor on a pillow.
"Why are you messing up your pillow?"
- This is my saddle, I ride a horse.
Angry, I lift the pillow in order to put it on the bed, and a tortured cat crawls out from under it. It turns out he was a horse.

I wake my son up in the kindergarten in the morning. Vova:
- Mom, lie down next to me, I'll tell you something.
I lay down, he settles comfortably under the side and continues to sleep. Silence. But I'm interested!
- Son, what did you want to tell?
I haven't figured it out yet...

Traffic cops stop the car. In the car, father and 6-year-old son. The father comes out and ingratiatingly holds out the documents to the traffic cop with the words:
- Good afternoon, comrade inspector, here are the rights, here is the insurance, here is the registration certificate, here is the technical inspection, everything is in order, everything is as it should be ...
At this moment, the son opens the glass and loudly asks:
- Dad, where are the goats?

Andrew is 2.5 years old. Before the New Year, my mother prepared a whole bowl of Olivier and stands over it, bending her fingers:
- So-a-ak, I put the sausage in the salad, cut the potatoes, peas ...
Andrey (quietly-quietly):
- And I poured compote there ...

A five-year-old nephew is asked what he wants to be:
– Danya, do you want to be a pilot?
No, they break...
- Well, then the captain?
No, they're drowning...
- And then who do you want?
- Will I make mattresses?
- Why?
- Did it - lay down, did it - lay down ...

Leo is 6 years old. We go with him to the neurologist. Lyovka is naughty - the doctors are tired of him. I tell him:
- This doctor will not do anything to you, he will only talk.
- Is that all?
- Well, maybe it will knock with a hammer, but it doesn't hurt.
We've arrived, let's go. Doctor:
- Hello, Lyovushka!
- Hello! Well, where is your ax?!

Son is 15 months old. I can't ride public transport because I'm dying of laughter. We go in, sit down, the son chooses a nearby young man, smiles sweetly and says:
- Dad!
Many "dads" got off at the nearest bus stop...

Veronica and her mother are driving from the Christmas tree. They were stopped by a traffic cop for a minor violation and issued a fine. Veronica says: “Do not swear at mommy: take all the sweets from me, become kind and will not pester people with all sorts of nonsense.” Veronika Merzlikina, 5 years old

Kirill (2 years 1 month) on the street saw a man coming out of the entrance and, without unnecessary greetings, he addresses:
- Did you go for a walk?
The man was taken aback:
- Yeah
- Did you wear a hat?
- Yes.
And put on mittens. Coldly. Very cold.

Mother:
- Son! Who taught you these bad words?!
A son:
- Santa Claus, when he tripped over my bike at night!

Children's karate section (children 4-5 years old). Conducted by: Andrei Mstislavovich and Gennady Miroslavovich. Of course, children cannot pronounce Andrei's middle name, so they simply call him "Andrey", which Gennady makes fun of, they say, he did not deserve it.
History itself: an open lesson. Break. One of the kids separates from the crowd and goes to the "sensei". Hesitating, he asks:
- Gennady Mimosralovich, can I go to the toilet?
When Andrei's laughter subsided, Gennady gathered all the children and said:
- From this day on, I'm just Gena for you! And nothing else!

Role-playing games. Masha is about two years old. Our mother is a goat, Masha, of course, is a kid. The unsuspecting dad enters the room and hears the commanding voice of his daughter:
- Goat! Pour juice!
You should have seen his eyes...

We came to church, we pray, people sing (read prayers). Yarik (2.5 years old) passes by and looks attentively at the women.
- Aunt, don't! It is necessary: geese-geese, ha-ha-ha, you want to eat, yes-yes-yes ...
Curtain.

Denis comes home from school and says to his mother:
- Mom, the teacher told us to bring blood from the nose!
- And what should I bring?
- Nosebleeds!

Often children say all sorts of stupid things, but for us adults, these stupid things sound very funny. There is nothing more touching than hearing or reading funny children's sayings and phrases. A non-standard children's outlook on life seems very funny to us adults, but we can learn a lot from them.

We have collected for you the most ridiculous to tears and carbon monoxide statements of children. Some of them are so funny that they will make you laugh not only to tears, but even to stomach cramps. Reading life stories and cycles The children are talking.

Nastya 3.5 years old:
- Mom, why did you first teach me to walk and talk, and now you want me to sit and be silent ?!

Daughter (3 years 8 months) at bedtime:
- Mom, I'll tell you a scary tale! Once upon a time there was a boy, he was 35 years old, he went to school ...
- Daughter, this does not happen! They go to school until the age of 16-17, no more.
Husband:
- They told you - a terrible fairy tale !!!
Daughter:
- OK then. Once upon a time there was a boy, he was 16 years old, he went to school ...
- Nu here is, already better!
- In the fourth grade!

Mom, is the phone ringing?
- Yes.
- Can I call him?
- Yes.
So this is the spine.

Daughter (4 years old) asks her mother:
- Mom, how old are you?
Mother:
- 38.
- Show me on your fingers.

Son (5 years old) approaching his father, sitting at the computer:
- Dad, what game do you play?
- I pay bills.
- You are winning?
- Not.

A father calls home to inquire about the well-being of his sick seven-year-old son.
- How are you? What's your temperature?
- Forty three…
- Are you kidding!
- Truth. Mom just measured.
- And what did she say?!
- She said: 37 and 6.

Son (6 years):
- Dad, have you seen living mammoths?
I was surprised:
- They have been for a long time, I did not find them.
He is not far behind:
- Well, did you even manage to make war with the Germans?

The son fell asleep on the couch. Dad decided to shift to the crib. He gently took it in his arms, and the son through a dream: - Put it where you took it.

Three-year-old Arseniy asks: - Dad, are you afraid when there is a thunderstorm in the sky? — No, son. I'm a man! And you? - And I'm a man when the fireworks in the sky!

I'm going to a parent meeting. I liked the parting words of the child - “The main thing, mom, do not trust anyone there! ..”

If a person is drowning, you need to throw him an anchor

We read a book with our daughter (3 years old), we look at the pictures. Next, I ask my daughter, pointing to the anchor on the ship:
- What is it, you know?
- Anchor.
- What is it for?
- If a person is drowning, it is necessary to throw an anchor to him.
In order not to suffer, apparently ...

Margo, do you have a friend in the kindergarten?
- Yes!
- What is her name?
- Seryozha!

On the beach, he plays with his new toy, a bow and arrow. He fired and went to look for an arrow, he returns back with an arrow, but sad.
Mom asks: "What happened?"
Ivan: “There, aunt, I got into the room, saying a hundred, I should zenith on her.” He thought a little and said: “No, mom, I’m happy with you.”

Let's get ready:
- Mom, I'll be in the first grade, and Katya (sister) in the fourth?!
- Well, yes.
- You couldn't make us twins?

The doctor comes to the sick child. He sees - his little sister runs barefoot on the floor.
- Come on, beauty, put on slippers, otherwise you will get sick.
After the doctor leaves, the mother notices that the girl is still running barefoot.
- Did you hear what the doctor said?
Yes, he said I was beautiful.

The son (at 4 years old) had heard enough of Russian folk tales.
We walk with him down the street, suddenly in an excited whisper he says to me:
Dad, look, the tractor is digging the Russian earth!

Recently I bought Egorik prunes in white chocolate, I hand him an open package:
- Help yourself.
He looks into it with curiosity, widens his eyes and says:
- Dumplings?! Raw?!

We went with my daughter (10 years old) to the Epic cartoon, where at the end a girl and a boy kiss. Masha loudly:
- Here you go! And they wrote “0+” at the beginning !!!

Mom! Where are tampons inserted?
Mom, choking on an apple:
- Well ... how can I tell you ... In general, where children come from.
Alice, stunned:
- In a stork, or what?

So guys, how can you help?

The sister's husband is a man of absolute honesty. Since childhood. The son of a father who is a lawyer and a mother who is a medical examiner. To a phone call with a request to call one of the parents, a five-year-old child answered:
- They're not home.
- Where are they?
- Dad is in prison, mom is in the morgue.

Yaroslav (3 years old) went out with the nanny for a walk and noticed how three plumbers were “conjuring” over the open hatch, lowered the cable, and consulted. Yarik, escaping from the nanny, runs to them. Having reached, cautiously, but businesslike, he approaches the repairmen and utters the sacramental:
- Well, guys, help with what?

Son (6 years old) asks:
- Mom, when children grow up, do they live separately from their parents?
- Yes, son, separately.
After a little thought:
- And where are you going?

A wedding is when you come in for a girl to take a walk with her, and you no longer return her to her parents.

Styopa (6 years old):
- Mom, how old are you?
- 30.
- Is it three dozen?
- Yeah. Already. Soon I will grow old and crawl to the cemetery.
- Mom, what are you doing! Papa is even older than you, and he is still alive!

We sit and read with Masha (7 years old) a fairy tale about Ali Baba and the robbers. We reached the cave with gold. I, admiring the charms of colorful drawing, the abundance of wealth, enthusiastically say:
- I would take this gilded jug for myself ... And you, Masha, what?
The answer was dry and short:
- I would take everything out on a gazelle.

Son 2 years 6 months. I took him to the children's hospital for vaccinations.
We are sitting in the vaccination room waiting for my aunt to load the syringe, and suddenly he turns to me and says:
I'll wait for you in the car, okay?!

happy childhood

A friend's daughter got sick. To bring down the temperature of the kids, they rub vodka, but the father of the family is a non-drinker, and at home from alcohol there was only a gift bottle of Chinese vodka with a snake. When they began to rub the child, a terrible putrid smell came from the liquid. The mother was frightened and began to shout to her husband:
- Throw out this dead thing!
The girl started crying
- Don't, mommy, maybe I'll still survive.
When they laughed it off, I had to explain for a long, long time that they loved her and would never throw her away.

A five-year-old girl says to her mother, who is trying on a new fur coat:
- Mommy! How beautiful you are in this fur coat!
- Really? .. - Mom was delighted.
- Truth. You look like a shepherd in it!

I speak with a sigh
- Well, soon I will be 33 years old ...
Daughter:
- Yes, and I'm already nine.

Mom, when I was born, how did you know that my name is Dima?

Mariana (4 years old):
- Mom, let's go to the store!
- No, daughter, no money.
- And go to the ATM, he will give you money!

My daughter (3 years 10 months) conducted an educational program for me yesterday:
The groom is the one who buys ice cream and kisses, and the husband is the one who nails the shelves at home and eats.

The eldest son is 6 years old, the youngest is 2 months old. Mom changes the younger one, and the older one looks at him and says:
- Oh, mom, he's all white, like me! Can you imagine what would have happened if Tyoma had been born with black skin and black hair?
“I can’t imagine,” I say.
- Kapets would be to you, mother!

Grandma dug up my childhood jewelry box. My daughter (4.5 years old), with admiring eyes, examines all this plastic-shell wealth and asks:
Mom, was it all yours?
- Yes.
- God, what a happy childhood you had ...

My eldest daughter once said, looking in the mirror:
- What a big head I have, probably a lot of brain there!
And the youngest says to her:
- Previously, computers were also large, only they worked very slowly.

When he was little, they were going to kindergarten, but my son resists, does not want to wear warm pants. I AM:
Do you want to leave your mother without grandchildren?
Previously, everything was explained about keeping warm.
He, sighing:
Well, only for the sake of the grandchildren!

Let everyone gasp and die!

Mom says I will meet a smart and kind guy ... But I will most likely just choose the tallest and with blue eyes.

Anya (3 years old) is sitting with a toy phonendoscope in her hands:
- I am fishing!
- Anya, this is for the doctor!
- Okay, I'm a doctor. What worries you?
- Yes, my throat hurts. You can help?
- I can not.
- Why?!
- I fish...

Granny:
Here, Zhenechka, you are already 3 years old. Ask mom and dad to buy you a brother or sister.
Zhenya:
Why spend money? Our mother is still young, she can give birth.

3 years. In the morning:
- Well, daughter, what do you want to wear today?
She dreamily:
- Mommy, dress me so that everyone would gasp and die!

Daughter (6 years old) eats borscht. I suggest taking onion or garlic.
Don't want.
Many microbes and viruses die from onions and garlic.
It would be better if they died of chocolate.

The son (3 years old) walks in tights, inherited from his sister (7 years old).
- Lena! And I'm in your old tights.
- And I'm in your future!

Five-year-old Roma, returning from a walk:
- Wow, how cold it is today, even my eyes are frozen! Well, not the eyes themselves, but the jaws that cover them.

Son (2 years 7 months):
- How difficult it is to put on shorts - there are three holes, and only two legs!

Conversation with son:
- Mom, is sour cream healthy?
- Useful.
- Are greens useful?
- Useful.
- Then buy me chips "sour cream with greens."

Drawing lessons in kindergarten. The teacher approaches the girl, who paints something with rapture:
- What are you drawing?
- God.
- But, after all, no one knows what he looks like!
- Now find out!