Types of men in a woman's life. Three types of relationships

It is difficult to overestimate the importance of men in our lives - sun-winged creatures who can soar at an unattainable height, filling our lives with energy, actions that can lift a woman to the skies and make her a queen, or mercilessly throw her off the pedestal at some point... giving confidence and peace , a feeling of warmth and security, how easy and safe it can be in your presence, you complete us and give our life a look of perfection and completeness. Your speed is mesmerizing, your solar energy fills our body and warms our soul, your ability to immediately move from words to action is amazing, in your presence the world takes on brighter colors, only you can make it so happy and so painful at the same time.

You give different feelings and emotions, from the most beautiful to the most destructive. Without you, life would be gray and very ordinary, you are able to make a real holiday, give that feeling of flight and inspiration that grows wings and opens the heart and soul, next to you I want to create, be beautiful, create comfort, give birth to children and projects (after all projects are, to some extent, also our children).

In the modern world, men are often scolded for inactivity, lack of initiative, and excessive effeminacy. I believe that what kind of men come into a woman’s life depends primarily on herself and on her readiness for a certain interaction. Men who come into women's lives are of three types.

The first type: these are male Teachers, those who came to teach us something, to teach us a lesson, so that we, often through the collapse of illusions and unbearable pain, learn something and, as a result, ourselves develop some qualities that are important to us and have become better. Through disappointments and resentments, we grow thanks to such men and relationships. In these relationships, there may be burning passion, the amplitude of emotions is off the charts, the woman is at the peak of emotions, from all-encompassing happiness to unbridled anger or jealousy. In relationships with Teachers, we often cry. These are the relationships in which we fly like a bird into the sky and fall, breaking into pieces on the ground. This is a fire that burns all living things in its path. Sometimes “study” relationships, on the contrary, are characterized by a feeling of emptiness, boredom and complete misunderstanding (often such couples would be happy to separate, but living together, children, acquired property or some other circumstances that “keep” people together). Unfortunately, many people live their lives in such relationships, tormenting each other, closing their feelings or starting relationships on the side, never knowing the true depth and intimacy that cannot exist at this level. Or, unable to withstand the intensity of passions, the couple runs away. Pain, unbridled passion or complete indifference are the hallmarks of such relationships. In rare cases, after going through difficulties and growing up, a couple moves to the next level. If we parted ways with a man without having learned the lesson, it will be repeated with the next male Teacher, but in a harsher form. Until we understand what we needed to learn. The lesson may be in starting to love and appreciate yourself, or in the ability to designate and defend your boundaries, in respect for masculinity, in accepting another person - there can be a lot of options, you need to understand each specific case.

If a woman has learned certain lessons from a relationship, has grown, acquired wisdom and knowledge, a man, a Fellow Traveler, comes into her life. (or the Teacher becomes a Travel Companion, the relationship moves to another level). Very rarely, a woman has certain knowledge from birth, it is already built into her system, absorbed with the milk of a wise mother, then she immediately meets a Fellow Traveler, bypassing Teachers. This is a much more mature relationship, characterized by warmth and mutual understanding. Pain may be present at some episodic moments, but it is not dominant as in the first case. There is no indifference here. There is a lot of quiet joy, satisfaction, dominant feelings of confidence and peace. Relationships resemble a peacefully burning candle, giving a small, but very stable and warming light; emotional swings, unlike the first type, are absent. There may be several fellow travelers on our way. This is a relationship in which we do something together with passion, joy and inspiration. This is an interesting, constructive and developing relationship. Walking a certain path together. Children in such unions are usually self-sufficient and happy. Also peacefully, having walked a certain path together, fellow travelers can disperse and go different ways. You can live in such relationships for many years, appreciating and warming each other. Or go further, into the third type of relationship.

The third type of relationship, which is extremely rare in modern society, is a man who is a soul partner, a like-minded person. In these relationships, worlds are created, the energy of such a couple affects the entire environment. This is the case when 1+1=11, two people strengthen each other many times over, this is a connection at the level of souls, closeness of body, soul and spirit (not to be confused with codependency - here two absolutely self-sufficient people interact). Each of them no longer needs a partner for integrity; they each feel good on their own, but together they are better off. Such a couple is created when two very conscious and integral people meet; they are creators and masters of their lives in their essence. There is no mistrust, no sense of possessiveness, everyone in a couple is a separate person, the connection is already so deep that all social games, such as jealousy, no longer have any meaning. The main thing in such a couple is joint creation for the benefit of a large number of people.

To enter such a couple, or become such a couple, you need to go a long way, together or separately. Rarely does a couple go through all three stages together, becoming partners and like-minded people. Most couples now separate already at the first stage, or at best stop at the second. I know cases when a couple separated at the first stage and then, having gone through each of their own paths, met already at the third level. Each couple has their own path.

Of course, all the divisions and gradations here are very arbitrary, and each person and couple is unique in their own way, but understanding the type of men and relationships in our lives can help us see our current location and direction of movement and growth. Be happy.

Emotional attraction is not a reason to give your heart the green light, even if your partner seems like a real miracle. What can a couple of dates say about a person? You didn’t feel his character, you didn’t recognize all the habits and skeletons in the closet. And if the fairy tale turns out to be a mirage, how can you break the love affair? In this article we will talk about 7 types of partners with whom it is better not to start a relationship. Find out who to avoid!

1. Eternal child

Such people are not ready for real life with its difficulties and problems, because they value their freedom too much. Work, responsibility, moving - all this is difficult. Children, a new level of relationship? Why so rush! They don’t want to change, invest themselves in something worthwhile, take care of loved ones - don’t even wait. In addition, they often live in two states: either they rebel against the system, constantly degrading, or they cling to the wallets of their loved ones, compensating for their everyday inadequacy. Decide for yourself how close the role of a parent is to you, are you ready to rely only on yourself, forgiving your partner’s whims and inconstancy?

2. A dedicated perfectionist

Starting a relationship with him is dangerous for the psyche: get ready for a total inventory of your own habits and desires. Why eat meat for breakfast when you can make a smoothie? Why doesn't your T-shirt match the tone of your socks? How can you not go to the gym every night? How much longer will you work in an unpresentable position? The trouble with perfectionists is that they meticulously keep everything under control and remake it to suit themselves. By the way, they themselves do not want to change; it is the partner who must meet them halfway and correspond to the beautiful picture. And then it turns out that they do not know how to love anything other than their ideals.

3. Destructivist

At first he gives the impression of a gentle and vulnerable angel whose life was unfair to him. But behind all this charm and feigned “goodness” lies the real Othello, a manipulator and tyrant. The goal of such people is to hook their partner and have unlimited power, satisfying their ambitions and instinctive craving for violence. To avoid getting into trouble, remember: destructive people find it difficult to suppress jealousy, they often rush things, impose their help and vision of the situation, and also hate admitting mistakes. Such people do not feel guilty.

4. Dependent

Everyone understands that you should not start relationships with alcoholics or gambling addicts. However, addiction does not necessarily manifest itself in a destructive craving for alcohol or gambling; addiction can take different forms - excessive attachment to diets, workaholism, shopaholism, love addiction, obsession with sports achievements or communication on social networks. The main disadvantage of such partners is that they are so dependent on their passions that without a “dose” they fall into depression, behave aggressively, and step on the throat of their principles. So, is it necessary to say how difficult it is to live with them, when you can’t trust anything, you have to control everything?

5. Complainant

It’s normal to pour your heart out to your partner and seek support from time to time. It’s another matter when complaints constantly pour in, a person does not stop whining about his difficult fate and being negative about any reason. It is difficult to live with an eternal victim, such people look for a catch in everything, dig into every little detail, criticize, and get irritated. As a result, one gets the impression that these are real “dementors”, incapable of enjoying little things, fooling around, or inspiring. But how long can you live with a stone on your chest, and are you ready to constantly be a “donor”?

6. Selfish

It is difficult not only to start, but also to build a relationship with a “me-me-me” person who does not know how to think about anyone other than his royal persona. For him, love is a tool, a partner is cheap labor to provide for his own needs. An egoist does not know how to think about others, give, care, or make concessions. Plans for the future, sex, everyday life - everything will be built around his personal desires, slowly destroying the partnership, sucking all resources from the family. And as soon as the partner gives the last, they will get rid of him as unnecessary.

7. Rusk

If you were expecting beautiful words, romantic dates and a storm of emotions, you have come to the wrong address. People of this type are not capable of high feelings; love for them is an unpleasant disease or annoying. Therefore, they ignore any manifestations of tenderness, often behave consumeristly, keeping their partner on a leash. There is no dedication with them; you will be as long as you are allowed to love yourself. Disappointment comes when a person falls in love and leaves. At this moment, the understanding comes that there were feelings, just not for you.

Which of the described types were present in your life? And what lessons did you learn from this relationship?

No matter how different and unique we are, our personal relationships often develop according to similar scenarios.

We present an article about the 6 most common types of relationships. Find yours.

1. Mutual development
When two people are seriously involved in a relationship, they begin to help each other grow. Grow both spiritually and emotionally. Emotional growth is an important part of our personal development, and this type of relationship helps us achieve our goal of achieving emotional maturity. Such partners make themselves strong and motivate their significant other. If this is your example of a relationship, then you are a very happy person. The main thing is to try to keep them as long as possible.

2. Love in silence
“Understand at a glance” is a description of this relationship. Partners understand each other so well that they can spend time in complete silence, simply enjoying being together. Achieving such a relationship is a difficult task and requires a lot of time and effort. Imagine that you are sitting with your significant other at dinner, just sitting, not talking. Will you feel awkward? If not, then congratulations: you are in one of the most emotionally stable relationships.

3. Calculation These relationships can not be called either bad or good. People need them only to achieve a certain goal. For example, career or political. Both, or at worst one, in a couple know that they really don't plan to stay in the relationship after they achieve a certain goal. Such a relationship ends as soon as everyone (or one) gets what they want.

4. Experiment
This is a type of very selfish relationship when one person wants to change the other “for themselves.” For example, my ex wanted to change me into a person that I myself did not want to be at all. She met with me to see if she could achieve this. You could say that she wanted to “blind” her own man. In almost 98% of cases, such relationships fall apart.

5. “Toffee”
This is one of the worst types of relationships. They should have ended a long time ago, but the partners continue this torture. This usually happens when people break up badly and then start a relationship again after some time. The pain and resentment after the first breakup is too great for everything to be the same, but these two are still trying to give a second wind to their love. They know that they are no longer suitable for each other, they fight more than they love, they are terribly unhappy, but they still continue to hold on to the relationship. It all ends eventually, but it will lead to a long and futile period of trying to mend the relationship. If you're stuck in this situation, the best option is to make a drastic cut.

6. Eternal competition
Such a relationship will not lead to anything good. When two people fall in love, they make every effort to help each other grow in every way. In a competitive relationship, both partners compete with each other, often going to extremes. For example, my friend was married, and his relationship was exactly like this. He and his wife competed so much in work and household chores that they began to perceive each other not even as rivals, but as enemies. If you are in the same competition, do yourself a favor - save your nerves, free yourself.

Today we will talk about women with whom it is better not to mess. You know, as in the proverb: “It is better to lose with a smart man than to find with a fool.”

So, With such women you will lose a lot: strength, emotions and money. But you won't find anything.

Here's your stop list.

Why not give it?

There are periods in a woman’s life when she does not need a constant, warm relationship. Then you can “roll over” exclusively through sex. And then, for safety reasons, the woman chooses a permanent lover in the “just sex” format.

But we are not talking about this temporary state.We are talking about those who “don’t care with whom.”

For them, entry into relationships occurs through sex.

“I’ll try and decide”

It feels like the girls are “give it to everyone” With sex they answer the question: “Do I want this guy? I’ll try and decide.”

Various rude words are spoken about them, the meaning of which is summarized by the incorrect term “giver”.

Surrounded by such women, there are few men with whom they would not sleep.

Remember, the representativescategory "ladies"relationships are short-lived. But even in them they manage to do it regularly.

Why get “love” and attention through sex?

It’s even awkward to write about girls who give to everyone. I feel so sorry for them.

Why? Becausethese women are unhappy inside.

Each was traumatized in childhood. And now he gets “love” and attention in such a humiliating way.

Closed heart - promiscuity

Some were strongly emotionally blocked by internal defenses against pain. So that the ability to experience feelings has atrophied.

Women “ladies” are capable only of physiological sensations and short-term emotions.

Men who are promiscuous in their choice of sexual partners have the same algorithm.

People mistake these feelings for “love.” They are afraid to fall in love seriously, to let another person in deeply.

The memory of the traumatic experience closed my heart. And the body requires emotions and sensations, which people receive through sex. I received it, tried it, moved on.

How can a woman cleanse herself of her “past glory”?

In our society, a man who changes women like gloves is perceived as a macho man, a Casanova. But the attitude towards a woman with a similar way of life is extremely disgusting.

Sometimes the only way to cleanse yourself of “past glory” ismove to another city. But, To avoid getting into the same situation there, it is better to undergo psychotherapy.

It is important to understand why a girl gives herself away through sex and replaces tenderness and love with exclusively sexual relations. What spiritual holes does primitive “love” close?

What is your woman like in bed - everyone will know

It is very important to understand that a woman who sleeps with everyone will not be needed in the long run. No matter how beautiful and seductress she may seem at first glance.

A man, of course, will not refuse sex on the first date, but he will not continue the relationship.

Men are squeamish. And a woman who gives to everyone is perceived as a second-class creature. Men are owners and value loyalty. And they don’t want to read in the eyes of other men: “Oh, I know what this baby is.”

“I won’t give it to you”: Dynamo players take to the field

It's always interesting to get inside a woman's head. Find out what motivates her when she leads a man through labyrinths of passion, attracts him with images in SMS, targeted shooting with her eyes or even candid photos and... Nothing.

Men love football, mostly. Some people are fans of the Dynamo team. But there is no one who would like to cross paths with female dynamo !

Why won't there be sex?

Look, you give the girl flowers, take her to movie restaurants. You can already see her in your bed. And even, perhaps, in life - in the coming months, that’s for sure. And then it’s a bummer. There will be no sex! Maybe it will happen later.

But this word “bummer” hits your lower level and self-esteem so painfully that you don’t want to see her anymore.

And most importantly, you realize that you did everything for this romantic ending: you didn’t screw things up, didn’t put pressure on you, and didn’t view the girl only as sex.

He followed the seductress like a boa constrictor at the call of a flute, but at one moment something went wrong. And she turned from a passionate Scheherazade into the Snow Queen.

“Okay,” you thought. - Let's start from the beginning - maybe I misunderstood the signs. Or the girl is not ready yet. Or she’s “not like that” and I’ll fight for her.” And this causes even more excitement.

But the “push-pull” happens a second or third time? And you understand that the Dynamo football team burst into life. And you lost to her.

Foreplay or sexual overexertion?

The worst thing is that there are no signs to identify the “dynamo” girl at the start. So you won’t be able to protect yourself from unnecessary emotional investments.

In adult life, sex is part of relationships.

And if a woman plays hard to get, then after a reasonable period of time this no longer causes respect for “not being exchanged,” but irritation. Physiological.

Each couple has their own periods of foreplay, butExcessive sexual tension is not the norm!

Celibacy probation - who needs it?

You know, I remembered the famousSteve Harvey's book Think Like a Man, Act Like a Woman.I respect the author and his advice. The book reveals the secrets of how men think and how to properly manage us in order to build strong relationships at the courtship stage.

The only thing that, as a man, I categorically disagree with is the probationary period of “celibacy” of three months. Do not do it this way!

Be careful, risk of burnout

You're not teenagers, are you? Then why should sexually mature adults, who are so physiologically attracted to each other, “endure” for three months?! You know,You can burn out.

Although, perhaps, they assessed that they were not interested in each other intellectually and did not coincide psychologically? Then you have no need to sleep.

Or vice versa - partners don’t need anything from each other except sex. And both realize this. In this case, the probationary periods are all the more absurd.

The only factor in the “just sex” format should be mutual attraction to each other. And also the acceptance that you can’t count on more. Dot. What checks? What dynamos?

Why does a woman lead a man?"by the nose"?

Remember, women who lead a man by the nose are divided into three main types.

She doesn't know what she wants.

Smacks of infantilism or mental disorder. A healthy mature man will feel such a woman and “write her off” from his account.

The woman manipulates by keeping the man hooked with potential sex as bait.

Such a “dynamo” pursues the goal of gaining profit. One lures more expensive gifts. The other is trying to tie her closer to herself.

And the third, in this primitive way, proves its necessity.

Such a woman, on a subconscious level, considers her only advantage to be sexuality. And without “giving”, he keeps the man on a “short leash”.

These variations are a flawed position that are sure to fail.

What can you get for a dynamo?

Seeing that he is being manipulated, he will simply end the relationship. An abnormal person can take revenge for unjustified hopes.

And since on a psychological level we attract “equal” partners, then normal men do not fall for the “dynamo”.

And then, at best, such a woman earns a reputation as a “dynamo.” At worst, he may even receive physical punishment from an embittered, dissatisfied man.

“I will give, but not to you”: waiting for a signal

The girl has become your meaning in life. You wait for an SMS from her, you drive past her habitats in the hope of “accidentally” meeting you.

I am sure that your chosen one is also not indifferent to you, but she shows strange indecisiveness.

You obediently wait for her to finally give the signal. But there is no signal.

Do you want to fill the airwaves with yourself?

A nymph can even be gentle and hug warmly when meeting and saying goodbye. Thereby sparking hope. Like, you are “in the process” and will soon wake up in the same bed.

The girl invites her to take her for a walk on the weekend. Or feed it at lunch. No, this is not a money scam. Sorry, this is from“there is no one more worthy to score airwaves.”

And then the object of desire suddenly disappears. With or without explanations.

Dangerous Walking in Circles, or a Convenient Friend

Finally, with difficulty, you freeze the craving for the mystery girl inside, persuading that this is “not yours.” When suddenly you receive a cheerful SMS: “Hello, where have you been?”

And so a girl can lead your heart in circles even for years. Such a convenient friend.

Moreover, the “friend” sincerely speaks about your merits, comparing you with the “goats” with whom you sleep. You are such an Angel in the flesh.

And the girl with the instinct is “victim”

Why not be with such an ideal person in a normal relationship? Why keep you on a short leash in a permanent friend zone instead?

And because She simply hasn’t grown up to be so normal, good, kind and decent, morally or psychologically.

In the soul and subconscious of a girl of this type there are flawed patterns that push these “goats” into the hands.The "victim" instinct.By the way, just like you, since you continue to tolerate this kind of push-pull attitude towards yourself.

How about the role of a self-esteem trainer?

Face the sad truth: you're a girl's man“I will, but not to you” just a living simulator for flirting skills. An expander on which she pumps up her seduction skills and feeds her self-esteem.

When such a woman is in a relationship and realizes her emotional and sexual potential, she doesn’t really need you. Left alone, she needs an artificial increase in self-esteem.

And then he remembers his eternal fan. Do you need it?

How not to be deceived by fantasies?

And one more important point.

Maybe you're wishful thinking? And the girl is friends with you. She is by nature affectionate, emotional, open, but with EVERYONE! Did you just take everything personally?

Well, friend, then this is purely your fantasy.

Or Confess your feelings to your girlfriend.Maybe she herself is glad to move from the friend zone to “meeters”, but she has no idea about your “unfriendly” feelings.
Or take your friendship for granted.With the following consequences:They don't sleep with friends.
Or, if it hurts you to see her and not have her as a woman,explain yourself and stop this gut-wrenching for yourself.

Remember, life is too short to waste it on not their own x people. Look for your woman! Who will love and give herself entirely - soul and body. Only you should be worthy of such a woman.