Whatever is done. How and why the principle “Everything is for the better” works
Parable…
Personally, I believe that you should always look for a share of positivity and joy in everything. Not always, what seems terribly scary, offensive and unfair to us is so. Yes, in all cases there are exceptions. But there is no point in focusing only on the fact that everything is “bad” and “wrong.” In life, everyone goes through their own lessons. And there is no need to be afraid of them and run away from them. Sometimes they hit us painfully, but all this is lived through, carried through the soul and heart and thoughts, and comes out at the right time with conclusions already made and acceptance of the situation. There is no need to write out the scenario of events in your head in advance - everything will still turn out in a negative way. We are always ready to think about the worst. We don't know how to think about the best.
The same “problem” is experienced by an individual in his own way; no one decides, except ourselves, how exactly we will overcome the barrier that has formed. And no one will decide for us how to accept the current “not like that” situation. What happens to you happens only to you. No one will ever be able to look at the world through your eyes, see what you see, and understand it the way you understand it. Making mistakes is not scary. After all, you will know that you tried, you were able or were able to overcome the fear of mistakes. If you want to live without the burden of problems, grievances and missed opportunities - everything is in your hands, don’t listen to anyone but yourself.
We will never know everything in advance. And there is no point in this. Create and create your life yourself, with your positive thoughts and cherished desires! A positive attitude and desire are the main drivers of all processes!
And.. everything that is done and done is all for the better. The best is inevitable! ;)
If you start something, be sure to finish it! This mother’s rule is not without meaning and obvious prospects. But what about the magic of the moment, what about the last chance to change everything, change your mind, make life less predictable, but more suitable for you personally? Our heroes listened to no one but their intuition, and they talk about it with joy.
I've changed my mind about studying
Anya(26), Moscow
I studied at MGIMO at the Faculty of International Relations. Specialization - Africa. After four years of torment, I received a blue bachelor's degree and, succumbing to the herd instinct, applied for a master's degree. It seemed to me that “master” sounds cooler than “specialist,” but it took two more years to study for it, and one for a specialist.
To enter, you had to take the History of the Eastern Countries of the 20th Century. I went into the audience and took a ticket. I sat down to get ready, but my thoughts suddenly began to work in a different direction. Will I really be studying the problems of East and Africa for another two years? For some crimes they give less! At that moment, when one of the applicants answered his ticket, I realized that I did not want to be in his place. I don’t want any exams or a master’s degree! I don’t want to work at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and become a guru of African studies! By that time, I was already working part-time and knew that there was a lot of bright, creative work in the world. And I wanted to go to that world, and not to the Foreign Ministry and Africa.
I called my assistant over and asked: “Can I leave?” She replied that it was impossible to go out during the exam. I clarified that I didn’t want to leave, but to leave: “I don’t want to enroll. At all". The girl was confused, smiled stupidly and said: “Okay...” I took my things and left, accompanied by the amazed glances of the teachers. The fellow students outside the door were also very surprised. They probably decided that I was a weakling. But I had the feeling that for once I was not going with the flow, but was emerging and catching a breath of air, that I was taking an Action, making a Decision. I didn’t know what I would tell my mother, but I thought that I had done someone a favor, because I had freed up one place in the master’s program.
“I wanted to go to the world, not to the Foreign Ministry!”
Before the exam, the master's program was a bastion for me that definitely needed to be taken, and I prepared, despite a severe cold and fatigue from final exams... Now my only regret is that I did not leave the first year. I started to get bored at MGIMO from the very beginning.
Five years have passed since then. All this time I worked in the publishing business: as a secretary, personal assistant, sales manager, PR specialist, journalist. Now I’m managing a project, I love my job, and I don’t care how many diplomas are gathering dust on my bookshelf. As practice has shown, everything turned out for the better.
CHANGED MY MIND about working
Evgeniya(24), Novosibirsk
I got a job at a bank. Two months later I saw the vacancy of my dreams: “News journalist required for television.” I passed the interview, completed the creative task, received an invitation to work and... didn’t show up for the job the next day. I changed my mind because in the morning the head of the department called me from the bank and said: “Don’t go, you’ve received a diploma as the best specialist, another bonus and some other white envelope.”
I called TV and explained that I wouldn’t be able to go to work because my salary had been increased at my old place. I was hoping that they would ask me: “Are you sure? Did you think well? And I’ll say: “No, I want to come to you!” Take me!”, but the editor just wished me luck. I regretted my decision three days later, when I turned on the TV and saw that “my” position was filled by a girl who was studying a year younger and whom I considered a nerd, far from life and profession.
“I tried to imagine people happily buying shoe covers...”
Six months later, the crisis came, and I was fired from the bank, like many other employees. A couple of months later, I was offered a serious and interesting vacancy for a regional sales manager. At the interview, I showed off my banking experience, and they accepted me without any further questions. I had to sell shoe covers. In the evening, on the eve of going to work, I sat at home, drank tea and dreamed. I tried to imagine people happily buying shoe covers... It didn’t work. Imagining yourself in that place is also... I don’t think that selling shoe covers is bad or unworthy. But I never saw myself in such a job. I called and said that I wouldn’t come out because I had received another offer.
After these stories, I sat down, thought hard, analyzed everything and... decided to start my own projects. I registered an LLC and began to implement my own ideas. Now I have my own design studio, and I am responsible only for myself. I don’t regret it at all.
CHANGED YOUR THOUGHT about getting a divorce
Pavel (25) and Tatyana (24), Volgograd
Pavel says. “A year and a half after the wedding, Tanya and I began to quarrel a lot. They fought literally every day. They behaved in such a way that now it’s even embarrassing to remember! There were several reasons for the conflicts. Firstly, my wife really didn’t like that I was constantly receiving SMS from my girlfriends. And they are just friends, nothing like that, but these messages drove Tanya crazy! The second irritating factor was the unstable financial situation - there were problems with work and, accordingly, with money - there was not enough of it for anything.
At some point, our scandals became simply impossible to bear. We argued non-stop for a month. And both came to the conclusion that we no longer saw any point in continuing the relationship and that it was time to think about divorce. The last straw was the scene before the New Year. I won’t go into details, but in the end we sat down that evening, talked and decided that we could no longer live together. Then Tanya suggested getting a divorce. I supported her decision, and the next day we went to the registry office to write a statement.
We entered the building, and suddenly memories came flooding back to me. I said to Tanya: “Do you remember this registry office, our wedding?” Do you remember how good it was then?” She was silent, but it seemed to me that she was no longer so determined to get a divorce. Then I suggested waiting another two weeks. What difference does it make whether we get divorced now or half a month later? Moreover, the registry office is not far from home. We turned around and silently walked home. The next two days passed as usual - we argued, fought... and then for some reason we relaxed and stopped. Since then, the topic of divorce has not been returned to. My parents never learned anything about our decision (and its cancellation).
“Do you remember this registry office, our wedding? How good were we then?”
Perhaps it was a relationship crisis that we needed to overcome. Even if only by going to the registry office for a divorce... Now we understand each other better than then, and we are more tolerant of each other. The problems we had a year ago have gradually been resolved. I found a job and my financial situation stabilized. In order not to traumatize my wife with constant “friendly” SMS messages, I now set my phone to vibrate. And most importantly, we are waiting for a new addition to the family!” (We’ve already waited! While the issue was being typed up, Tanya and Pavel had a son, Kirill. - Ed.)
I've changed my mind about having an abortion
Irina(24), Moscow
Pregnancy came as a big surprise to me. The test was right - and it gave out two stripes. It turned out that it was already nine weeks. At that time I was 22 years old, I didn’t have a husband, but my one-year-old daughter was growing up...
Only I managed to be glad that this crazy infancy period was over, when I had to stay awake at night, walk at five in the morning, squat around the baby and perform various acrobatic acts with her in my arms... I just got a new job, went on a business trip, only some prospects appeared on the horizon, and then... Since childhood, I had an attitude: I will give birth to only one child. In addition, of course, it was frightening that my daughter and I live in a rented apartment and that we do not have Moscow registration. In general, I weighed everything and decided to have an abortion.
“Since childhood, I had an attitude: I will give birth to only one child!”
And I was already sitting in line at the clinic when I suddenly felt that I was absolutely not where I should be. She hesitated for just a second. She easily got up and walked out. They tried to stop me - they say, you’ll miss the turn, girl. And I didn’t even take the money. At that moment, my only desire was to leave the hospital as quickly as possible. And from somewhere I became confident that I wouldn’t be lost even with two kids...
When I told my family that I was leaving the child, they began to lament with tears in their eyes: how are you alone, in Moscow, and with two children... The list of fears and arguments against was endless. But I was calm and unperturbed and had no intention of changing my decision.
I think that then everything happened at the right time and in the right place. The situation gradually resolved: I bought an apartment with the help of a mortgage, and we all became full-fledged Muscovites, I started working two jobs and went to the office a month after giving birth. Now, being a mother of two daughters, I have time to go to the theater and exhibitions, and skate, and meet with friends. This fall I went to university again. And my personal life seems to be slowly getting better. There are close people around who support me...
I don’t plan to tell my second girl about that story in the hospital line. For what? I think we will have many other, more important topics to talk about!
Prepared by Alexandra Sorokovikova
Photo: CORBIS/FOTO SA. FROM THE ARCHIVES OF HEROES
Why do they say: “Everything that is not done is for the better!”?
It’s not a good idea to get into a loop if it didn’t work out as you wanted...
This is an excellent consolation, confirmed, alas, by practice. As cruel as it sounds, my friend of about 20 years old regretted that in her youth she left her boyfriend, who later became a lieutenant colonel. And then I found out that his wife got cancer and died. And she walks so calmly now! He says: The Lord has left!
This means that this man’s wife’s death was predetermined. But my friend clearly was not destined for such a fate. So it circled him away from him. So, no matter what you say, no matter what is done, everything is for the better!
This wonderful saying is an example of positive self-programming. A person prepares himself for the fact that everything will be fine - and he really will!
This is the slogan of optimists. But in fact, this is an axiom of our life, but it is not always possible to understand and evaluate the events that happened right away, only after some time, looking back, comes the realization that everything worked out correctly, and if everything was wrong, then not would be what it is now.
In fact, they say that everything that is done is for the better. I think that this is a kind of self-consolation, there is no point in tormenting yourself because something was done wrong in the past: you took the wrong train, you married the wrong person... Losing one thing, you gain another - and in the end, maybe you win.
I think this is not just a consolation for optimists, but also a wonderful navigator in life. When we stand at a fork in the road, the path we choose depends on our attitude and expectations, so a positive attitude gives us a much better chance of not only turning current failures into successes, but also choosing a better future.
I use this proverb very often. There is another expression: when one door closes in front of us, another opens. You just can’t give up if something doesn’t work out in your life, you must look at failures in life optimistically, and always look for the positive sides in it. Another door will always open before us.
And they also say that if there were no happiness, misfortune would help. These are two slogans of an optimistic vision of the world and the laws of its development. Any event can be seen either as improving conditions of existence now, or as capable of improving these conditions in the future. That is, any grief and catastrophe can be considered as a step towards further improvement of the situation, which is possible only after reaching the bottom of the deterioration. A person’s life is a series of black and white stripes of success and failure, but with a constant forward movement towards a better life, as if in a spiral. Optimists believe that this is true for any person; pessimists, at best, recognize this on a global scale for thousands of years of history.
Everything that doesn’t happen is for the better!, and continuation And everything that doesn’t happen is for the good. Yes, perhaps the slogan of optimists is to extract positive results from everything. For example, if your contract with a large supplier was terminated, and now you sit, worry for a month, and then find out that he is bankrupt and wanted to get out of debt at your expense, and then deliver the goods to you in a year. In this example, in my opinion, the saying is relevant. Or, you were laid off from your job, and you are worried, depressed, and then you were offered a better one. In my opinion, it seems to me that a person should pay attention to what happens in life, good or bad events. If we make negative things out of everything, forgive us, we won’t have time to live. The bad is already walking next to us or catching up with us, but we run away and chase the good, the good. Be optimistic.
Everything that is done is for the better
Each of us has heard this expression. Someone believes, someone argues that this is not so. There is no point in convincing. In any case, it is best to give examples. I want to tell you about one such example from my life.
Since you and I are on the Internet, communication takes place through computers, an example on this topic, in my opinion, will be quite indicative and understandable to the majority.
The story began in mid-March. Who remembers, at this time there was a chain of failures in the server equipment. What the reason is, that’s another conversation, but several fairly large participants in the Russian segment of the Internet were unable to fulfill their obligations. Simply put, they stopped working.
The most famous of them is the Smartresponder mailing service, which was not available at all for about two weeks. Smaller companies also suffered, including the company where I host this website.
For about a week, it was not possible to access the site, neither the support service nor the telephone numbers responded, in short - silence. Maybe some of you got into this period and saw the treasured inscription that the browser cannot display the page.
Basically, nothing bad happened. Well, there was a failure in the equipment, that’s why equipment breaks down. It needs to be repaired and data restored from backup.
I didn’t bother about this issue. I just waited until the technical work was completed, at the same time reading reviews about the work of hosting companies, looking for a more reliable option for the future.
And, naturally, the cherished moment came, the hosting started working, the data was restored. It would seem that the misunderstanding has been resolved and work can continue.
But not everything is as simple as it sounds in theory. No one promised an easy life. This and other projects were restored, but their performance was truly surprising.
On one site the design disappeared, on another the links stopped working, the third stopped loading altogether. Overall download speeds have dropped to a crawl, reminiscent of the Internet of the nineties.
In short, I won’t go into unnecessary technical details, but the situation is not fun. Anyone who runs websites will understand me, it’s one thing to fix a site of ten pages, it’s a completely different thing to fix a site of 500 pages. I tried to restore from my backups, and tried to negotiate with technical support, but nothing. We managed to fix some things, but the overall picture was not encouraging.
I’m not very strong on the technical side of the issue; I used ready-made engines for my sites. I used the two most popular ones - Joomla and WordPress, and on the support forums, as a rule, all the advice boiled down to one thing - you need to buy a dedicated server, then these systems will work quickly, reliably and stably.
But something told me that there was a simpler and less expensive solution. Well, what’s the point in additional investments, if the work is already unstable, then what will happen next? We need to look for another solution, a different approach.
Complicating the process, as a rule, is not the best solution; the right solutions should always be sought in the opposite direction, in the direction of simplification. By breaking the situation down into its components, you can always find a way to change one thing that will radically affect the entire process.
What components did this situation of mine consist of?
- First- this is hosting, with not the best speed and stability.
- Second- this is the engine on which I made my websites.
- Well third- my technical training in PHP programming is not very good.
What options can you find here?
- First- this means investing in a dedicated server, hosting your websites on it, and continuing to depend on the unpredictable consequences of the operation of the equipment, and increasing the cost significantly.
- Second- change the engine, find an option that would not be demanding on hosting, and would work easily and stably under any conditions.
- Well third, engage in intensive study of the programming language, and understand all the technical intricacies of the work yourself.
Which of these options is the simplest? I think it's not difficult to guess. Naturally - the second. We need to find a fundamentally different approach to creating websites, not bulky, clumsy tools with many files and all sorts of additional bells and whistles, but a simple, easy, elegant solution.
The desire is formulated, the direction is indicated, all that remains is to find the information. And, naturally, this information came. The correct process differs from the incorrect one in that the necessary links appear as needed.
“Completely by accident” I found a site where its owner, under the pseudonym Maestro, offers an easy, fast and not at all resource-demanding solution completely free of charge. Engines for the site, under the general name Rumba. The engine itself is less than a megabyte, there is no need for any databases that load the server, simple controls, and the highest speed. Which is what was required in point two of my plan.
Moreover, I had a lot of pleasant experiences reading the support forum for this engine. Among the participants there is a respectful, correct attitude towards each other. All necessary points are explained calmly and clearly. No show-offs or fan fingers, no tricks to siphon off money, everything is explained calmly, in detail, with a good sense of humor.
The author himself has been leading this project for many years, the engines are constantly updated. It is clear that he is an expert in this matter at a fairly high level. But, most importantly, in my opinion, the Maestro loves his job, and understands perfectly well that for a good result, for a good level, regular and painstaking work is needed. Which he successfully implements.
A little piquant detail. When I saw the page loading speed, at first I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was 0.02 seconds. Each engine has a counter. How do you like this result?
All that's left to do is to thank the Maestro and implement your projects at Rumbe. Which I did with success.
If earlier this site took up about 80 megabytes, today it is 4, and more than half is a visual editor that I installed for ease of use.
Whatever is done is for the better.
Proverbs of the Russian people. - M.: Fiction. V. I. Dal. 1989.
See what it means: “No matter what is done, everything is for the better.” in other dictionaries:
Every bad thing has its good side. Everything in the world is for the better. See GRIEF CONSOLIATION Everything in the world is for the better. Whatever is done is for the better. See DESTINY PATIENCE HOPE...
Wed. You should not lament that the marriage between us will not take place. Everything that is done is for the better. N. Makarov. Memories. 5, 13. Wed. Finally... everything is for the better in this world, as Voltaire, it seems, said... Turgenev. Zap. hunter My neighbour… … Michelson's Large Explanatory and Phraseological Dictionary
tirline- words funny signature motto Examples: Happiness is when you really want to go to work in the morning and go home in the evening. Do you like to ride? Love and ride. You can't take me with your bare feet!!! Grandfather Mastday and the hares. Everything that is done is for the better, and what is for the better is not... Hacker's dictionary
Get rid of it, bad life, get attached to the good one! Without knowing grief, you will not know joy. Sometimes you swallow it bitterly, but you spit it out sweetly (and vice versa). You eat it bitterly, but it burps sweetly (and vice versa). We've seen the bad, we'll see the good. We waited for now, let's wait and sweat. Waiting... IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people
Yes Man Genre ... Wikipedia
Always Say Yes Yes Man Genre Comedy Director Peyton Reed Producer David Heyman Richard Zanuck ... Wikipedia
The band's studio album... Wikipedia
KARTSEV Rafail Mitrofanovich- (1861 after 1932), Voronezh merchant, public figure, chairman of the Voronezh department of the Union of the Russian People (VO RNC). Born in the village. Burovlyanka, Voronezh district. in the family of a peasant who later moved to Voronezh. Information about occupation... ... Black Hundred. Historical Encyclopedia 1900–1917
- - was born on May 30, 1811 in Sveaborg, recently annexed to Russia, where his father, Grigory Nikiforovich, served as a junior doctor for the naval crew. Grigory Nikiforovich received his last name upon entering the seminary from his educational... ... Large biographical encyclopedia
Books
- Whatever is done is for the better! , Vedenskaya Tatyana Evgenievna. “Neighbors, or Happiness Doesn’t Come from Guys” Diana believed that Sergei’s attention to her person was undeserved happiness, unprecedented luck, mind-blowing luck. Still would! Not beautiful, not smart...
- Whatever is done is for the better Dilogy, Vedenskaya T.. “Neighbours, or Happiness Isn’t in Guys” Diana believed that Sergei’s attention to her person was undeserved happiness, unprecedented luck, mind-blowing luck. Still would! Not beautiful, not smart...
