How to talk to your grandmother about an inheritance. Tips for grandparents: how to communicate with grandchildren correctly What you can ask your grandmother on the phone

Grandparents have a huge responsibility. They not only raise children, but also pass on to them the experience of generations, family spirit and allow them to see the most different aspects of life. It is known that children who communicate frequently with their grandparents are much better academically, have good character and are less prone to outbursts of aggression. As adults, such children usually remember their beloved elders with love and gratitude. Grown-up grandchildren take care of them and, if necessary, choose the best private boarding houses for the elderly or provide care themselves.

However, not all grandparents find such communication easy. In some cases, they simply do not know how to behave correctly. Here are some tips for communicating with the younger generation.

Pampering or excessive strictness?

Usually grandmothers dote on their grandchildren. They cannot resist pampering them once again; they shower them with gifts if their financial capabilities allow, feed them the most delicious food, and allow almost everything. Is this true from an educational point of view?

There is a point of view that life with a grandmother is a kind of vacation. Strict parents monitor proper nutrition and timely completion of homework, and at grandma’s house there is a fairy tale where it is so pleasant to relax. However, older people should remember that they should not break the rules set by their parents. The child must understand that everyone in the family adheres to the same standards.

Who is more important - mother or grandmother?

It is no secret that in many families there is rivalry between mothers and grandmothers regarding how to properly raise (feed, dress) a child. Children immediately take advantage of this, starting to manipulate adults. In addition, constant disputes and conflicts in the family are not at all beneficial for either the child or the adults.

Of course, older people want their opinion to be taken into account; they want to be needed and significant. However, in matters of raising children, the last word should remain with the parents. Grandparents can give them advice from the height of their life experience. But when making a final decision, it would be better for them to step aside. First of all, this is a manifestation of care for the child, who should not be torn between different points of view.

How to convey life experience?

Elderly people who spend a lot of time with their grandchildren can pass on to them a real treasure - a wise view of the world, understanding, and the ability to accept life as it is. Old people, like children, are in no hurry. They have time to discuss endless issues, go for walks, enjoy nature, and read books. In such simple and leisurely communication, a connection between generations is born, which is very important for a child.

Communication with older people can be the most important experience in a little person’s life and a memory that he will carry with him throughout his life.

How to communicate correctly with grandparents

Dan Zadra told Time magazine that the depth of questions a child can ask his grandparents depends on his age. He advises parents to teach their offspring to formulate these questions correctly and to help the youngest members of the family understand the oldest, learn their stories and compare them with their own.

Children of primary school age They can ask grandparents questions like: “What was your room like as a child?”, “What kind of pet did you have?”, “Where did you spend your childhood?” According to the writer, a child can receive fascinating answers to these questions, which in turn will help strengthen the connection between generations.

For high school students Zadra advises asking your grandparents more personal, emotional questions. For example: “Who was your first best friend?”, “What was your first job?”, “What would you like to do differently if you had the chance?” and so on.

High school students However, according to the writer, they are suitable for the role of grateful listeners of family stories - as soon as they ask something that really interests them, their grandparents will immediately remember the story from their youth. The task of grown-up children is not to interrupt them or interrupt them, but to remember their words.

Universal advice for children of all ages Zadra considers the use of journalistic cunning when communicating with the older generation, whose representatives are often reticent. He advises asking more clarifying questions: “What do you mean?”, “Give an example,” “Explain why that is?”

The author of the advice emphasizes that this approach to communicating with grandparents will help to establish a connection with them not only for children, but also for their parents, who may have forgotten some family stories, or perhaps did not know them at all.

Three words for which you can climb onto a roof and not be afraid to fall from it

Call Grandma. Please, it will take two minutes. Call your grandmother, I asked my son Vasily. He's fourteen, and I'm lucky that he answers his parents' excited text messages. I left for a friend’s birthday, four hours later I delicately ask: “Are you all right?” An hour later the answer comes: “Yes.” "When will you come back?" - I clarify. "Soon".

Grandma will be pleased to hear from you. Just ask how she feels, I whine.

You were talking to her. So, everything is fine,” the son is surprised.

She is bored. It’s important for her that we all call her,” I explain the common truths.

Yes, our grandmother lives not so far from Moscow. She drives a car for us, leads an active social life and knows everyone in the area down to the last dog. That is, in principle, you don’t have to worry about her. And to talk to us, she needs to climb the stepladder under the roof of the house - only there is a good connection there. Every time I am afraid that she will fall from this high place because of my call.

Mom, why don't you answer? - I shouted into the phone when I tried unsuccessfully to reach her for two days. I was already getting ready to go, I was standing on the threshold.

“Now I’m answering,” my mother is surprised. It turns out that she forgot the phone in her bag, left the bag in the beauty salon, but decided not to return, because the phone was dead anyway, and the charger was at home, and tomorrow she still had to go to the store, but she was too lazy, so she just picked up the bag today.. .

But I had a passport,” my mother answers, “if something had happened, they would have called you.”

She's always been like this. With black humor. “No lyrics,” as she says to herself.

When I was still not married, without children, and called my mother, she asked: “Don’t you have anything to do? What’s the use of chatting?” Later, when I got married and gave birth to a son and daughter, my mother’s first question I heard on the phone was: “What happened?”

She doesn't like talking on the phone at all. And he doesn't expect good news. Although we all try to please her. We accumulate many achievements at once to tell my grandmother - my granddaughter now sculpts from clay, my grandson won the Olympics, I bought a new wardrobe, and so on. But mom still twitches when the phone rings. One day she confessed to me: “I won’t be able to stand it. My heart will stop. If something happens to you... My mother, your grandmother was so afraid to receive letters and telegrams. She shied away from the postwoman - the sweetest woman. And I’m afraid of calls. There were too many bad calls."

When I'm sick or the kids have a cold, we don't call grandma. Or we call after blowing our nose and clearing our throat so that she doesn’t suspect anything. When I was scared or hurt, or needed help, I never called my mom. I didn’t want to, I didn’t have the right to answer her question: “What happened?”

“I called,” Vasily reported.

And what did grandma say?

She asked if I had lost at cards and if I was going to get married.

I said that I was just calling, but she didn’t believe me. And when you were young, did you call your grandmother only if you lost at cards and were getting married? - the son clarified, not without interest.

No, it’s our grandmother who jokes like that.

In fact, my mother taught me to call only for business. And when I started talking about the weather and nature, I interrupted: “In short.” I talked about my minor troubles or the remnants of a big trouble, problems that had already been solved, but came back to haunt me. She spoke sparingly and meaningfully. And my mother also sparingly offered to stop by for money.

Mom, I have money! - I shouted, because I needed advice, or support, or just to hear my own voice. But she believed that all problems could be solved financially. Bad mood? Go buy a new blouse. Problems at work? Find a new one. Whatever one may say, she was right - everything came down to a banal decision.

Mom, tell me that everything will be fine, that I will succeed, that you are proud of me,” I begged.

Stop whining into my phone, calling me about all sorts of trifles, and then I will be proud of you,” my mother answered.

When did everything change? I don’t know, I don’t remember this moment. I call my mom and ask if she needs money for medicine, if I should buy her a new jacket, if I should bring her groceries.

Can you just call? Should you talk to me about the weather? - Mom is offended. She doesn't need my help, she just needs to hear my voice. She feels everything even before the moment I said “hello”. And I feel from her voice that she woke up at four in the morning and could not sleep - she was thinking about us, worried, worried. And I really wanted to call - my heart was restless. But no, she is proud of us. The first one will never dial the number.

Mom, why? Call me at least at six in the morning! - I beg.

For what? You'll get scared and come right away.

This is true. When my mother calls, which is very rare, my heart stops.

I’m almost forty, my mother is almost seventy, but we never learned to talk on the phone.

And I don’t know what we would do if it weren’t for my little daughter Sima, our grandmother’s only granddaughter. Sima is five years old, and her grandmother gave her a personal mobile phone. Small, red, with a funny pussy keychain. And Sima always calls her grandmother every day and talks about how she went down the slide, how she went to paint, what her friend Anya said, and how the boy Sasha fell into a puddle. And her grandmother tells her about the bunnies who took her hat - the hat disappeared, as if the bunnies had taken it. How a titmouse flew to her and brought a flower. How a whole family of hedgehogs with hedgehogs started up in a mink. Sima calls her grandmother whenever she wants - at seven in the morning, barely waking up, at nine in the evening to hear a bedtime story. And he says goodbye to his grandmother: “I kiss you a hundred times.” The grandmother, standing on a stepladder under the roof to catch the connection, is ready to balance on the crossbar as much as she likes for the sake of these “a hundred times.”

After all, this is the most important thing we want to hear on the phone.

“My grandmother and I are not close as relatives,- a friend once complained to me, - and I have nothing to talk to her about. I kind of understand that I need to call her, and I call - but after answering “How are you, how’s your health?” the conversation crumbles, fades and quietly winds down. I guess I'm a bad granddaughter..."

To be honest, this conversation impressed me to the core. How is it that there is nothing to talk about with your grandmother? Why? After all, so many topics for communication can be raised, so many interesting things can be gleaned, so many happy memories can be resurrected - you just need to pull them out, half-forgotten, from the dark corners of your grandmother's memory, shake off the dust from them - and they will sparkle with bright colors again.

After all, old people love to remember the past, especially when the adults and grandchildren are sitting side by side and, with their mouths open, like little ones, listening to every word spoken.

I have not communicated with my grandmother for 9 years. Simply... yes, because she is no longer there. And I still, despite the years that have passed, feel sad - and this pain does not go away, and probably will not go away.

After all, you can no longer sneak up quietly from behind, kiss a wrinkled cheek and cheerfully exclaim:“How are you, grandma? Let’s chat with you a little”... But, God knows, our conversations were the most interesting, the most entertaining, and simply the most...

Dear girls! You really don’t know what you can talk about with your grandmother? Oh, I'll tell you. Moreover, I assure you that there are no more intimate conversations than those when two loved ones communicate. So…

I know a lot about my grandmother. Almost everything, because we were close friends. And about my grandfather too, although I haven’t written a single line about him now. The main thing is the memory in the heart: it will not go anywhere, and the rest does not matter.

Talk to your elders, people. Speak often; Even a short phone call can make your day brighter and your mood better. Speak with love: they gave you your whole life, so give them in return at least half an hour a day - it’s so little. And if possible, hug more: perhaps they don’t have much time left.

Granny, grandma, grandpa, grandfather. Whatever your grandchildren call you, you are the one who can make a significant impact on their lives. Below are 5 ways you can help the next generation without ever leaving your chair.

Share your experience

Grandparents seem old to their grandchildren. But thanks to this, you let your grandchildren know that life’s favorite difficulties can be overcome. You may have scars, both physical and mental, that you can tell your grandchildren about.

Advice: You have lived a long life and have a lot of experience. Share this experience with your grandchildren. Stories that are close in age to children will be especially important. For example, your experience of someone bullying you at school or treating you unfairly. Or maybe something about how you strived for independence as a child. What you tell your grandchildren is very important.

Neutrality

Since grandparents are not parents, they can often say things to children in a more neutral tone than parents. If you ask your grandchildren about school, they are more likely to share the news with you than with Mom and Dad. Also, if children don't want to do something, such as homework, they are more likely to tell you rather than their parents for fear of their anger or disappointment.

Advice: Talk to your grandchildren. Ask them about what difficulties they have in life, and even if it seems funny or amusing to you, listen to everything with understanding and without grinning. Be sure to give your advice to your child about the current situation, especially if he doesn’t know what to do. Most likely, he will listen to you.

"Generation Experience"

Children feel secure when they feel family connections. Why not enhance this feeling with stories about what it was like “in your times”?

Advice: Tell your grandchildren about something that happened before they were born. Share family stories, especially funny stories involving children's parents.

Physical state

When you get sick, take medication, or have surgery, you are helping your grandchildren learn important life lessons. Thus, children are confronted with the concepts of aging, physical limitations, and death. This will teach your grandchildren to be more attentive to family members, especially older ones.

Advice: Even though it’s hard to ask for help, you should do it, especially when it comes to grandchildren. You can ask younger children to draw a picture for you or bring your jacket. You can always ask older grandchildren to help you get dressed, cook something, or even take you somewhere. This process will help your grandchildren begin to understand their strength.

Comic

Funny phrases from grandparents are remembered by their grandchildren for a long time. Don't forget to show your children the comical side of life. Explain that, despite the fact that sometimes it seems that life is a series of failures and problems, you can always look at everything with a bit of humor.

Advice: Make sure you don't laugh at your grandchild. You can laugh at yourself and your mistakes, or you can find stories from books and films that demonstrate the absurdity of some life situations.

Considering all of the above, it is worth adding that simply having grandparents helps not only your grandchildren, but also their parents, your children. Raising children is not an easy process, full of surprises and mistakes. Therefore, your experience and advice will never be superfluous.

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