How to stop a child from biting - why should parents think about their behavior? What to do if a child bites: advice from a psychologist Why does a child bite.

Parents eagerly await the eruption of the first teeth. Still would! The baby is growing by leaps and bounds, maturing. Unfortunately, changes are not always for the better. And this is natural. But what to do if you are quiet and calm child all of a sudden started biting mom and dad, fight, pull hair, pinch, in a word, go beyond the boundaries of what is permitted in every possible way. Don't panic, let's find out why child bites, then everything will immediately fall into place.

Why do children bite?

Basic reason such impudent behavior are emotions, which are characteristic of all people, even very small ones. Most often, children adopt manners and methods of emotional self-expression from their parents. In families where adults are calm and balanced and do not speak in raised voices, relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding. Therefore, it is unlikely that there will be a child bite.

By biting, a baby can express anger, jealousy or resentment. As a rule, children who bite are not independent; their parents decide a lot for them, punishing them for disobedience. The baby feels negative, so he shows his emotions in a similar way: starts to bite.

A bad emotional background makes children nervous. They are more susceptible to bad habits and, in addition to biting, often bite their nails and pick their nose. This is a kind of protest on the part of the baby, who does not yet know how to express his thoughts in words and uses the means available to him. Holding back emotions, in turn, can develop a mental condition called the “hyperactive child.”

Biting happens to be provoked and positive emotions, such as joy, delight. Missing dad, the baby may bite him when he returns from work. The child is delighted, runs towards you, hugs you, and then suddenly bites your hand. It's just difficult for him to show his feelings in a different way.

Look at yourself from the outside. Probably a child not enough your his attention, and he tries to win him by all available means. Often, a mother is bitten during a long conversation on the phone, when the baby becomes bored and is exhausted from waiting.

Typical mistakes of parents:

1. Try to fight back. Even a light bite demonstrates to the child that biting is not prohibited. After all, our children learn everything from US and imitate US. What is not allowed for a child is not allowed for a mother either.
2. Pretend to cry. Often children perceive their mother's pretense as something like a game or performance, which is very exciting for the child. The baby will wait for the game to continue and repeat his actions in order to force his mother to show the “performance” again.
3. Shame the child. The meaning of the words “Shame on you!” Due to his age, the baby is little understandable. He learns about shame much later.

Advice from psychologists:

— A change of activity will help relieve tension and nervousness. It is effective to alternate quiet activities (drawing or reading fairy tales) with sports games.

— Parents need to figure out when and under what circumstances a child bites most often. In the future, provoking situations should be avoided. Try to explain to your child that it is indecent to express your emotions in the company of normal people and aggressive behavior is unacceptable. Speak with confidence, in a calm tone, and, most importantly, regularly, so that the baby learns everything.

- As soon as a child hurts you, say “it hurts” or “I feel unpleasant.” Explain that this is not a game. The same applies to situations if the child fights. No need to shout and swear. Firmly, sharply grab your hand and make it impossible to strike. If after this the child raises his hand again, try to pull away. Explain that it is unpleasant for you when they do this to you. After such an attempt, you should not take the child in your arms, but you should not bring him to screaming and desperate crying. Just walk away, repeating that his behavior is unpleasant to you. For example, if you were playing together, pause the game and leave the room. Back up your words with action. And be sure to let the child understand that it is not he himself who is bad, but his action.

- Noticing that the child is moving towards another baby with the clear intention of biting, cover his mouth with your hand. This will prevent you from being bitten. Say firmly that “biting is bad and unacceptable.” The main thing is to act strictly and decisively so that the baby understands how ugly he is acting. In such situations, absolutely all family members must adhere to the same line of behavior, support each other, demonstrating to the child that such behavior is not approved.

— If a child still manages to bite another child, calm both of them down. Often the bite is so painful that the bitten child becomes hysterical and cries loudly. The offender also becomes frightened, and as a result both of them cry. After the children have calmed down, sit down in front of your baby, look him in the eyes and calmly say that “you should never bite people, it hurts and is unpleasant for them, and in general, that’s what food is for.”

- Do not push the child away if he bursts into tears, but hug him, take him in your arms, caress him and have pity. After all, your goal is not to offend and humiliate the child, but simply to explain that doing this is not good. Be consistent so that words do not diverge from deeds. Mom says - you can’t fight, pinch or bite - that means you can’t under any circumstances, anywhere and never. If you constantly adhere to this policy, then after a while the child will forget about this behavior.

Ways to stop a child from biting:

• Calm moral conversation. When talking to your child, look him straight in the eyes. Sit down so that the communication turns out to be equal, and not condescending. Hug your baby and tell him quietly that you are unhappy with his actions, and not with him.

• You should not punish a child if he bites, as this only enhances the negative emotional connotation of the child’s behavior. He will stop biting, but the emotions driven deep will spill out at an older age and develop into new behavioral problems.

• Exercises that promote speech development and finger games will help correct a child’s behavior. Having learned to speak, the baby will be able to express everything in words, and the need for biting will disappear by itself.

• Much attention should be paid to nutrition. The “biters” diet includes vegetables and fruits, which must be chewed thoroughly. Carrots, turnips or apples are fine. Let the child bite his food better, then he will be less likely to bite people or animals. In addition, the chewing process is very beneficial for digestion, and also strengthens the facial muscles and accelerates speech development.

Many problems in education are caused, first of all, by age, the next stage in the development of the baby. As a rule, children bite at the age of 1-2 years. Competent behavior of adults, love for their child and patience can overcome any difficulties. All will pass

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As soon as the baby has teeth, he finds a use for them, biting everyone and everything in his path. This phenomenon can be explained by the fact that the child will try a new sensation that was not available to him before and at the same time relieves the itching from teething.

But, as a rule, after one or two episodes of biting and the negative reaction of others to them, the baby learns that biting is not worth it and switches to less susceptible objects - rubber toys, teethers, etc.

It’s a completely different matter when the cause of bites in adulthood is an outburst of emotions - aggression, joy, boredom, hopelessness. How to stop a child from biting then? Child psychologists say that the solution to this problem lies in understanding the reason why the child bites and in the correct reaction of parents.

Why do children under one year old bite?

The reasons why children in the first year of life bite are obvious, firstly, with the appearance of the first teeth they feel discomfort and try to relieve it, biting almost everything. More often than others, the mother's breast becomes a victim of a bite during feeding. The first teeth, and these are the front incisors, are very sharp, and nature has decreed that if the baby clenches his jaws, then they can only be unclenched if he wants to. It is important at the time of such an incident not to scare the baby with your cry, since a bite on the delicate skin of the nipple can be very unpleasant and unexpected. There have been cases when a baby refused to breastfeed after his mother scared him with her scream during a bite.

To prevent this from happening, you can feed the baby using silicone nipple covers during the period of teething, or you can control the feeding process itself and monitor the baby’s reaction.

Sometimes children, even those who do not yet have teeth, clench their jaws forcefully during feeding when they fall asleep at the breast. A little older and smarter baby may bite his mother out of curiosity and observe the reaction. In this case, you should not delay the feeding process and wean your baby off the breast as soon as he loses interest in food.

A one-year-old child also bites because, not being able to speak, he thus shows his emotions or tries to attract attention to himself. Show your child that you are hurt and offended, but do not throw out aggression on the child, so as not to provoke a defensive reaction in him. Soon the baby will outgrow this period.

Reasons why children 1–3 years old bite

If a child bites at an older age, it is necessary to find out the reason for this behavior and react to it correctly.

Children come into this world without knowing the rules by which they need to live in society and learn very quickly, taking an example from others or remembering the reaction of adults to their behavior. As a rule, the lessons learned are stored in a little person for the rest of his life and form a model of his behavior in the future in certain situations. But Often kids don’t know how to express their feelings, do not know how to speak, are too shy, or too emotional communication is not accepted in the family. It is then that a bite becomes the only way to express oneself, to attract the attention of others. To understand the reasons that prompt a baby to bite, let's look at such episodes in more detail.

Joy, love, delight

Do parents often, when they see a chubby baby, feel the urge to pinch or bite him out of an overabundance of feelings? Perhaps someone does not restrain their desires or voice them. Small the child perceives such actions as an expression of strong feelings and sees nothing wrong with it and condemnatory. Some kids simply don’t know how else to express their positive emotions.

If you notice that the baby is in a positive mood, but is overexcited by active games or a joyful event, and the child bites, what should you do in this case? Firstly, you cannot shout and scold the baby, otherwise he will withdraw into himself and be afraid to show feelings.

Secondly, overexcitation of the nervous system at this age threatens neuroses and frequent episodes of headaches in the future, so you should not allow a state where the baby does not see or hear anything around. It is necessary to calm him down and take him to a quiet place, give him water to drink in small sips, and talk about abstract topics in a calm voice.

In the future, try not to tickle or pinch the baby, fooling around with him, in moments of tenderness - kiss the child or hug, showing how to show your emotions. And it would be a good idea to teach your child the exclamation “Hurray!”, so he can show delight and joy.

Aggression

Experiencing strong negative feelings, such as resentment, protest, disappointment, the baby still cannot control them, and often the only way out for the child to throw out all the aggression is to bite. Wherein a baby may bite not necessarily his offender, but a complete stranger who happens to be nearby at the moment of anger and, according to the child’s intuitive assessment, cannot fight back or express resistance.

The reason for this child’s behavior may be very strict discipline in the family, when the child is forbidden to show dissatisfaction and is punished for any disobedience.

Forced to restrain himself within the walls of the house, a child can throw out all the negativity, where nothing will happen to him for it, for example, on the playground with peers.

Another reason why a child bites and pinches, on the contrary, may be an overly emotional model of behavior in the family, when parents flare up with anger for any reason, the child also does not consider it necessary to restrain his emotions, while his perception of the world is adjusted through negativity.

How to properly respond to such an incident and how to stop a child from biting. To begin with, parents should think about their behavior and way of parenting. Perhaps it is necessary to give the baby more freedom so that such breakdowns do not occur, or if, on the contrary, communication occurs very emotionally, moderate your temperament, showing the baby how you can express your feelings differently. At the same time, it is necessary to show the child that the one he bit hurts and is just as offensive. There is no need to shame the child, this way you will achieve the effect of denying the bad deed; on the contrary, help him make amends for his guilt, let him take pity on the child he bitten, treat him with candy. The effect of showing mercy and realizing that “I am good” is much more effective than shaming the child and saying that he is bad. At one point, he may believe this and act with the caveat that he is really bad.

Why do children bite in kindergarten?

Did you find out that your affectionate and calm child in kindergarten bites, why does this happen and how to deal with it? First, you need to calmly talk with the child and find out how things went, and only then develop a strategy for educational work. There are many reasons why children bite, and they all revolve around one thing - the inability to control their emotions and express them in another way. But if the child started biting only when he went to kindergarten, the reasons may be somewhat different.

First of all, parents whose children began to bite in the garden begin to claim that the child came under bad influence; this has never happened before. Indeed, one of the reasons for this behavior may be a bad contagious example, if a child with problems with education or self-expression gets into the group and bites children, the rest do the same, since kids learn bad things faster than good things. And even a child who is not naturally aggressive can follow the lead of the crowd in order not to stand out. Only children who are self-confident, those who are praised a lot, or talented children will always defend their opinion without succumbing to the influence of the majority.

If you notice that your child is biting, what should you do first? Identify the aggressor in the group and draw the attention of teachers and parents. Next, you can tell the children a fairy tale in which all the characters quarreled because they bit each other. Conduct a separate educational conversation with the baby, in which you explain that this is ugly, painful and unhygienic.

What to do if a child bites alone in a group and becomes a role model himself? The reason for this behavior, which was an unpleasant surprise for parents, may be to protect the baby. Perhaps the child is not confident in himself, does not have authority among his peers, and the only way to defend himself or his toy is to bite. In this case, you need to try to reconsider your way of communicating with the child, do not criticize him, give him the right to choose, and praise him more.

If a child bites for no reason or aggressively attacks children, what should you do? If in the first case the bite was a way of defense, then here there is a clear attack on the face. The reason for this may be pedagogical omissions imposed on the difficult character of the baby. Under such circumstances, you won’t be able to cope on your own, and even if the bites stop, other conflicts may arise, the instigator of which will be your child. The best solution would be to consult a child psychologist. At the same time, the child cannot be made an outcast; he must continue to go to preschool, and parents must become protection and help for the child, and not a “punitive commission.”

Psychologists say that a child who bites is normal. The baby learns about the world in this way, trying it out for himself. By leaving bruises and wounds on the mother’s body, the baby shows her love or bad mood. By attacking peers, he tries to gain leadership or protect himself from bullies. Of course, you cannot tolerate a child’s aggressive behavior, but you need to get rid of a bad habit carefully so as not to traumatize the child’s psyche.

Bad example

At 1.5–2 years old, children copy the behavior of their parents. Did dad pinch or bite mom on the shoulder, and she just laughed in response? The baby will understand that his father’s actions are a way of expressing love, and he will definitely do it like an adult. Only children do not know how to calculate the force of a blow or bite.

If a child is aggressive with peers or attacks teachers in kindergarten, psychologists advise taking a closer look at his parents. It is likely that adults often:

• shouting at each other;
• swear loudly;
• punish the child for any offense.

In families with an unhealthy atmosphere, where there is constant arguing, and the father periodically raises his hand against the mother, aggressive children grow up. They do not know how to control their own emotions, even positive ones. The child bites because he does not know how to express sympathy or antipathy differently. He takes an example from his parents, who know how to scream, fight and offend each other.

Adults learn to talk and not sort things out in front of a child. They demonstrate to the baby that feelings can be expressed in words without resorting to physical force. When the atmosphere in the family becomes calm and friendly, the child will forget about his bad habit and stop biting.

• do not tickle the baby;
• refuse spankings on the butt and other physical punishments;
• do not yell at the child.

Some mothers, out of excess of feelings, love to gently bite the baby’s nose or buttocks. This is prohibited to do so as not to encourage or provoke the child. Playful bites are replaced with tight hugs and kisses.

Explain and regret

The baby was running around the room, playing with a ball or cars with his mother, and then suddenly sunk his teeth into her arm or leg? Perhaps he was tired. Children who are 2–3 years old are just learning to talk about their feelings and physical condition. It is difficult for the child to find the words to tell the parent that he has run out of energy, so he bites.

If the baby looks exhausted and tired, the mother first explains that he should not hurt others, and then offers to draw with crayons or paints. Creativity calms and relaxes the child, helps to relax. You can keep your child busy:

• appliqués made of colored paper;
• modeling from clay or salt dough;
• kinetic sand;
• plasticine.

The baby focuses on the process and is distracted. With the help of drawings or figures, the young creator splashes out accumulated emotions. But it is important not only to redirect the child’s attention, but also to convey to him that biting is bad.

Mom takes several deep breaths to calm down, because the first reaction is to scream and spank. Then he squats down and hugs the child. He looks into the eyes and says in a calm voice that the baby has very sharp teeth, and when he bites, bruises remain. Mom is in so much pain that she is about to cry.

It is advisable after these words to place your palm on the bitten area and make a sad face. The child will definitely want to feel sorry for his beloved mother. She suggests applying a clear antiseptic to the reddened skin and placing a band-aid on top. Then the baby kisses his mother on the cheek and hugs him, they make up and go to draw together.

It is necessary for the child to understand that when he bites someone, he hurts the person. Gentle and emotional children quickly learn the lesson and stop showing aggression.

Serious conversations

Did your child start biting when he went to kindergarten? Does he only offend his peers, but does he communicate normally with his teachers and mother? Children's groups are a mini version of society, where there are outcasts and leaders. But if adults try to attract attention with their actions and appearance, then kids are guided by primitive instincts. By biting peers, the child tries to demonstrate his strength and gain respect. Take leadership positions, make new friends.

For sensitive children, it is enough to explain that he offends other kids. You need to feel sorry for the bitten child and approach him along with the offender so that he apologizes to his victim. You can make amends with candy or an apple. Treats help children connect and make friends.

If regular conversations don't work, adults change tactics. They explain to the little bully that the kids he has bitten will not want to be friends or play with the bully. They will get pouty and stop talking to him.

Children 2–4 years old are told an instructive tale about a rabbit or kitten that offended and bit its friends. The baby was having fun, but the others were licking their wounds and crying. One day the animals decided that they did not want to communicate with such a harmful and aggressive bully. They went to another kindergarten, leaving the kitten alone. At first he was happy, because he could take all the toys for himself, but then he became sad. It was boring without friends. The kitten realized his mistake, apologized to his friends and promised not to bite again. The animals forgave the bully and started playing with him again.

A fairy tale character should be similar to a child in character and appearance. The mother invites the baby to tell him why the animal bit the others. And at the end of the fairy tale, the child is pushed to the conclusion that offending others is bad. If you bite your peers, then no one will be friends with the bully.

When the child voices his conclusion, the mother suggests coming up with correct and fun ways to become a leader. For example, helping the teacher and collecting toys together with her. Share cars and candy with peers.

After the fairy tale, did the child continue to offend other children? We can say that evil microbes live on other people's skin. When a baby bites someone, bacteria enters his tummy. They multiply there, and the child can get sick.

A psychologist should work with aggressive children who have a difficult and complex character. The specialist will correct the baby’s behavior. Will tell parents how to raise a little hooligan. It will help the child adapt and teach him to restrain aggression.

Self-defense

If a quiet and obedient child has turned into a bully, parents are advised to go to kindergarten and observe how peers or teachers interact with him. Perhaps the child is being offended or humiliated. They scream, take away toys, or even hit them.

In such a situation, biting is only a way of self-defense. No, you can’t rush at little hooligans with fists or screams. Mom or dad cannot re-educate other people's children. But parents are able to teach their child to defend himself and defend his own opinion.

The child needs to be praised to increase his self-esteem. Then the mother says that the baby is not obliged to give toys to someone if he does not want to share. He must firmly say “no” and “no”. Adults show the child their love and willingness to listen, support and help with advice. But along the way they explain that biting or fighting is not worth it.

Did teachers cause children's aggression? Are the staff rude and physically violent towards children? There are two options: look for another preschool institution or contact the management. Talk to the head, demand that rude teachers be fired or punished. If nothing has changed, it is better to entrust the upbringing of the baby to the grandmother or transfer to a private kindergarten.

Boredom and lack of attention

Does the child bite his mother when she is sitting at the computer or busy with her own affairs, and behaves diligently the rest of the time? Perhaps the baby lacks communication with his parents, and he is trying to attract attention in at least this way.

Adults need to play more with a small family member, watch cartoons or read books together. Hug him more often and show him your love.

How to punish correctly

If a child goes outside and starts hurting other children, his mother immediately takes him home. You cannot report to strangers so as not to humiliate the child. He must understand that he acted badly, therefore he is punished. You cannot deviate from the original decision, even if the culprit throws a tantrum in the middle of the street, falls to the ground or screams.

At home, mom explains that good boys or girls who do bad things deserve punishment. The child will not receive candy or will sit in the apartment until he realizes that biting is forbidden.

If a child shows aggression towards his family, none of the family members should encourage his behavior. You can’t be touched or assume that a bad habit will go away in a year. Mom punished the child who bit her leg? Then the father or grandmother has no right to give the upset child candy, turn on cartoons, or promise that they will go for a walk to the playground in the evening.

Adults should not bite or hit a child, and prohibit offending other people. Sometimes children become aggressive to annoy their parents or as a form of protest.

In order for your child to get rid of a bad habit, you should:

1. Introduce dried apples, carrots, crackers and other solid foods into his diet.
2. Give your child a separate room or part of the room so that he has space to play.
3. Make sure your baby goes to bed on time and exercises a lot to get rid of excess energy.

Usually it is enough for a mother to punish the little bully several times and conduct a preventive conversation so that he stops biting. A psychologist should work with aggressive and difficult children who do not respond to their parents’ comments.

Video: a child bites his mother - how to behave correctly

: Reading time:

A boy of the same age beats his mother and keeps the whole family in fear? Yes, this happens too! Tells why and what to do child psychologist Elena Lagunova.

A one-year-old child with an equally innocent look can ask to be held and beat his family. Because he doesn't really understand the difference.

At my reception, a young mother, Katya, complains:

“My one-year-old child fights, Sevushka beats everyone - me, dad, brother. The cat also gets it, although it probably happens to everyone. What's next? Well, okay, when something is not according to him, and more often it’s simple, for no reason. Maybe with a cheerful face he can come up and knock. I almost roared from surprise (or even pain) and said: “My dear, honey, don’t be angry. You can’t do this, it hurts mommy. Do not do it anymore". And he laughs. Doesn't understand words. And it’s the same on the playground. If you like someone else’s toy, you take it away. And who is he so aggressive, he’s just a bandit! Is it because it's a boy? Maybe it's time to treat him? Or a belt, as dad suggests? So tell me, is this generally normal, no?”

At this time, her son Sevushka looks at me with angelic eyes, takes timid steps around the office, calmly plays with toys and, you know, doesn’t look like a bandit at all.

Catherine can be understood. Any parent wants to raise a child who knows how to communicate in a friendly manner. But how to do that? Where does such aggression come from at this age?

Causes. Why does a child fight at 1 year old?

Almost all one-year-olds fight. It even happens that a 1-year-old child bites without stopping. And there are four main reasons for this.

The child demands the thing he likes. At this age, the baby discovers that taking it away or hitting it is one of the ways to get what it wants. And he tries again and again.

Trying to say something. A one-year-old baby may not speak or speak poorly. How it hurts him sometimes that he can’t get his point across! And he has difficulty understanding the speech of others, especially words that do not relate to specific objects:

“This is a spoon, this is a cat, and your “no”, where is it? Once I heard it next to my mother, another time next to the stove. Is it everywhere?”

Develop your baby’s speech, and by the age of two, in many cases, instead of fighting, he will begin to negotiate. In the meantime, a child bites at 1 year old, trying to make contact, so, for example, he shows his dissatisfaction or interest.

Doesn't control emotions. The one-year-old’s feelings quickly replace each other. Today it is raging, but tomorrow it is calm. He has yet to learn how to control emotions and express them in acceptable ways. Often the child is so overwhelmed with anger that he hits everyone he gets his hands on. A one-year-old child hits his mother in the face, and, having calmed down, hugs and strokes her again. A bite or a blow to the face has no different meaning for a child, he just fights, although his mother thinks otherwise.

Attracts attention. Only after three years will the child learn to evaluate whether he is doing well or badly. At one year old, he strives to receive any emotions of an adult, not understanding the difference between positive and negative. Let's say he went to the socket and saw a whole performance: mom frowns, breaks out of her seat and scolds verbatim. He will definitely ask her to perform again - he will crawl there again. A one-year-old child bites and pinches because he can perceive what is happening as a game. Believe me, this act has nothing to do with true cruelty.

At one year it is impossible to say whether a child is aggressive or not. Too much depends on the mood and situation. It will be possible to understand whether he is calm or cocky by the age of three or four.

Of course this behavior may be a sign of disorder. But the disease always has several signs; the parent must be bothered by something else. With autism, for example, the child not only fights, but also makes poor contact and does not make eye contact. All warning signs can be discussed with a psychiatrist, which is recommended for all babies to undergo at the age of one year.

“If the love of fighting is an age thing, it turns out that it will go away on its own?” True, but only partly. Competent actions of an adult will help the child master life without assault. And because of the illiterate, normal pugnacity can develop into genuine aggressiveness.

What to do. How to stop a one-year-old child from fighting

So, a 1 year old child is fighting, what should parents do? Here are some tips on how to stop your child from fighting at the age of one year.

1 Be brief and clear. Repeat the same thought over and over again. Firmly and confidently, without resorting to shouting. Not only prohibit, but also teach what can be done. The child will learn the prohibition best if you connect words and actions and show an example.

2 Help me understand that fighting is ineffective. And teach other ways to reach an agreement with a peer or adult: change, wait, etc.

3 Offer an alternative. If a child swings to hit in a game, catch his hand and say: “You can’t. Protect me. You can hit the ball." And show how it's done. If a child swings his arms in a fit of anger, it is better to step away and say: “You can’t. Protect me. You're angry. Stomp and shout so that the anger goes away.”

4 Don't punish.

5 Even if your baby gets into fights again and again, you should not spank him or scream loudly. The child will be completely confused: why does the parent forbid hitting with words, but does it himself? Children trust the example of an adult more than speech. If the baby is persistent, you can increase the distance with him, but nothing more. Watch your feelings.

6 It is seriously stupid to be angry with a child for fighting. The child will sooner or later begin to cope with his emotions. And parental incontinence can lead to the most tragic consequences. Let's give positive feedback.

The child is sensitive to parental words. If you say: “Greedy”, “bandit”, “fighter”, that’s what it will be. Try to suggest that he is “generous” and “Friendly”.

What if the child hit back at the offender? Here the opinions of psychologists differ, but the majority believes that giving change should be taught closer to seven years. Until this age, children cannot correlate the force of influence on them and the force of the response - because of this, they can give “change” much more strongly than the insult.

Sometimes parents need to work on themselves too

When asking yourself how to stop a child from biting at 1 year old, you must also analyze why the child’s behavior causes such fear in the parent himself.

Let me return to the story from the beginning of the article. Together with mother Katya, we analyzed her feelings. It turned out that she is afraid of children's anger and any aggression in general. Her parents taught her that anger is very bad and that you shouldn’t be angry. That’s why fights confuse my mother. But in fact it's okay to be angry

. Anger appears when what you want does not coincide with the result. The task of parents is not to suppress the child’s feelings, but to help him learn to express them without harm to others.

I explained all this to my mother Ekaterina. She left reassured and glad that there was no need to treat the child. And a month later I received a message from her on social networks. Seva almost stopped fighting and began hugging his mother more often. And I even learned to say “I love.”

Most children under 3 years of age will bite someone at least once. Most children stop biting on their own. If a child bites frequently after age 3, special treatment may be needed. Biting is not always a planned action and very rarely can cause serious injury to another person or pose a threat to their health.

Why do children bite?

Children bite for different reasons depending on their age.

At the age of 5-7 months, children usually bite others when they feel discomfort around the mouth, or when they have severe pain caused by teething. Most often, children bite their parents and relatives. Children at this age learn to bite when they see and hear the reaction of the person they bit.

Ages 8-14 months, children usually bite others when they themselves are very excited. Most often they bite relatives or other children who are close to them. A firm “no” usually stops the biting habit in these children.

Ages 15-36 months, children may bite others out of irritation or out of a desire to control the actions of another person. They usually bite other children. Less often they bite relatives. Children at this age stop biting as soon as they understand that such behavior is unacceptable.

After 3 years, children usually bite when they feel helpless or when they are afraid, such as when they are losing in a fight, or when they think that someone else might hurt them. Children over 3 years of age who bite frequently should be seen by a doctor. It may turn out that the child has problems with self-expression or self-control.

When can my child bite another child?

A child can bite in a variety of situations, most often this happens when children are playing together. In Ukraine, injuries from bites are a common occurrence in kindergartens. Most of these cases could be prevented by closely monitoring children and helping them express their feelings appropriately.

A child of any age who frequently bites others may need special care. If a child bites repeatedly, parents may be asked to remove the child from daycare. It may be necessary to transfer the child to another kindergarten whose staff knows how to deal with such children.

Could biting signal a bigger problem?

Biting in children at a young age does not usually lead to behavior problems as children get older. But children who bite frequently and act aggressively, especially if they are older than 3 years, may suffer from health problems or emotional distress. In this case, a doctor's consultation is necessary.

Signs that biting is a manifestation of behavior problems

Biting occasionally is normal for young children and newborns. However, sometimes biting is a manifestation of behavior problems associated with hostility and aggression. The child should be examined by a specialist if the child:

He bites very often and continues to do so despite attempts by relatives to control the situation.

Bites after 3 years.

Bites in a wide variety of situations.

It hurts other children with its bites.

A child bites out of aggression and/or anger rather than out of frustration or a desire to get an object.

The child bites and exhibits other aggressive behavior, such as hurting animals.

Methods for treating biting

Typically, a child's bite is harmless and does not require medical intervention to eliminate the consequences. Even bites that break the skin and start bleeding are not dangerous. It is enough to treat the bite site at home. But it is these types of bites that can become infected and therefore need to be closely monitored, especially if the person bitten has problems with the immune system.

Consult your doctor if:

You or your child have had a bite that broke the skin and are showing signs of developing an infection.

You and your baby are at high risk of problems from developing an infection.

In most cases, when a child has problems with biting, a doctor can help. Biting that causes injury to others or biting after age 3 are signs that the child needs to learn to control strong emotions. The doctor can explain to children and parents how to express their feelings. For example, a doctor may send you to child-rearing courses or child development courses. Thanks to this, you will be able to understand why the child bites and how you can react to such behavior of the child.

Parents may need extra help if they feel like they are losing control when trying to discipline their child for biting. Anger management courses or counseling may help parents who feel overwhelmed and tired.

Not all cases of biting can be prevented. But you can significantly reduce the frequency of biting if you try to find out the reason why your child bites. The cause usually depends on age.

Give teething babies soft toys or special teething rings that are designed specifically to reduce discomfort. Biting or chewing on clean, frozen tissue may also help. For more detailed information, see the Teething section.

Tell children ages 8 to 14 months that biting hurts other people. Exaggerate the pain if a child bites you. In this case, you need to say “No, we don’t bite!”, or something like that.

Help children aged 15-36 months learn to express their feelings in words. Also learn to recognize when your child is about to bite someone. You can prevent a bite by distracting your child. With young children, do not try to argue or have long discussions about biting. Use simple and specific sentences in your conversation.

What can increase your risk from a cut, bite or other skin injury?

In many cases (lifestyle, use of medications, diseases), the body's ability to fight certain diseases and the ability to treat them may be weakened. You may also be at risk if you have at least one of the following symptoms. Make sure to tell your doctor.

Conditions

A problem or condition present at birth (birth defect).

Age – over 60.

Artificial joint or heart valve.

Skin injury when traveling to another country.

The child is less than 6 months old.

Exhaustion

Obesity

Previous surgery to remove watery swellings due to previous skin injury.

The previous wound was of the same nature.

Previous surgery to remove the spleen.

Itching (swelling) at the site of the previous injury.

Lack of tetanus vaccination.

Ways of life

Alcohol abuse.

Drug abuse.

Smoking or using tobacco.

Medicines

Anticoagulants, eg aspirin, heparin, wofarin (C19H16O4)

Corticosteroids, such as prednisone

Medicines to prevent organ transplant rejection

Medicines used to treat cancer (chemotherapy)

Radiation therapy

Diseases

• An eating disorder such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa

  Autoimmune diseases, such as lupus

  Blood disorders such as hemophilia or constitutional thrombopathy (von Willebrand–Jurgens disease)

  Slow blood flow in the body, such as venous insufficiency or peripheral artery disease

• Heart diseases

  Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV)

  Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP)

  Kidney disease

  Liver disease

  Multiple sclerosis

  Osteoarthritis

  Osteomyelitis

  Rheumatoid arthritis

  Sickle cell disease

Getting rid of biting in teething children

Some children bite when they are teething because they feel discomfort or pain. The most common symptoms of teething are:

Swelling, increased sensitivity and discomfort on the gums in the area of ​​tooth eruption.

Increased salivation, which can cause drooling. This in turn can cause a rash to appear on the chin, face or stomach.

Refusal to eat and drink due to pain in the mouth.

Irritability and restless sleep due to discomfort.

Teething rings or stuffed animals can help reduce baby's teething discomfort. A huge number of different certified devices are intended for this purpose. Make sure that these items are not dangerous and that the child can put them in his mouth.

Biting or chewing on a clean, dampened, and cooled cloth can also reduce teething pain.

Getting rid of biting in children aged 8 to 14 months

To help your 8-14 month old child stop biting:

Set clear rules about biting. Tell your child: “We never bite people. We bite into food, like apples and cookies."

If your child bites, say “Biting hurts.” If a child bites you, exaggerate your pain. This will help your child understand why you get upset when he bites.

When talking about biting, use a firm voice and a stern facial expression. Children this age may not understand words, but they understand body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.

Getting rid of biting in children aged 15 to 36 months

Children aged 15 months to 3 years may bite others because they are irritated or want to control a situation or another person. Here are some ways you can stop biting:

Help your child describe his feelings with words such as, “You must be mad at Bobby for taking your toy.”

Encourage your child to try to use language to express himself. Tell him: "Use words to show feelings, but don't bite."

Teach your child empathy, this is the ability to understand the feelings of others.

Encourage activities that are appropriate for the child's age and skills. To avoid irritation, try not to use activities that may be too difficult or competitive in nature.

Distract a child who is starting to get annoyed by the game, for example, by dancing. Or do something calming, like reading or doing a puzzle.

Stop your child if you think he is going to bite someone. Distract your child's attention by looking directly into his eyes. In a firm voice with a menacing expression on your face, say: “No, we never bite people.”

Praise a child who successfully overcomes a stressful situation. Say, “Well done for using words when you were feeling angry.”

How to prevent biting

Positive praise can help prevent your child from biting. Praise your child when he behaves as you asked him to, for example, shares, behaves well, considers the feelings of others, shows patience.

When you see that your child is behaving well, praise him for it. Praise should not come in the form of candy, toys, or anything else. Praise can include simple words that the child did well and that you value cooperation and a healthy response to problems or irritation. For example, you can say: “Okay! When you were angry, you were able to express it in words!” A hug or a friendly slap on the back will help your child associate non-aggressive behavior with positive things. The child will soon learn that he feels better when he receives attention for good behavior than when he receives negative attention for biting others or acting aggressively.

Moreover, parents must model the behavior they want to see in their children. Avoid outbursts of anger and other displays of aggression. Be a good example and show your child how to calmly deal with daily irritations.

How to help a child who has been bitten

When one child bites another, first of all it is necessary to take care of the child who was bitten and support him morally:

Take your child away from the source of irritation.

Calm the child down. This process must be seen by the child who bit him.

Help your child express his feelings about being bitten. You can say, “You can cry. The bite really hurts."

Don’t say, “Andrey did the wrong thing by biting you.”

Check the bite area. Most child bites are harmless and leave little or no mark. There may be a tooth mark or slight redness on the skin, but there is usually no need for medical intervention in these situations. Most often, it is enough to simply apply a cold compress to the bite site and show your child that you love him.

Sometimes, as a result of a bite, the skin may be damaged and the bite site may bleed. Typically the damage is minor and can be treated at home. But such bites must be monitored especially carefully, because they are susceptible to infection.

Contact your doctor if the bite breaks your skin and:

The pain intensifies.

Signs of infection develop.

The person who is bitten suffers from problems with the immune system, which increases the risk of complications from the infection.

How to respond to a child who bites

When your child bites, let him know that such behavior is unacceptable. React very strongly to the biting (but without being violent or aggressive). If you are the only one who is bitten, exaggerate the pain. If your child bites someone else, respond by reprimanding them in a stern voice and with a stern expression on your face. Say, “No! We don't bite! Many children are just as shocked and upset as the one who was bitten. This is because children may not know that bites hurt.

Tell your child that there are other ways to express their feelings. For example, say: “Use your words to show Lena that you are angry with her for messing with your car.”

When a child bites it is forbidden:

Bite the child back so that he feels what it means to be bitten.

Wash your child's mouth with soap.

Hitting, spanking, or using other forms of corporal punishment.

For children over 3 years of age who are still biting, the time-out technique can be used. Time outs give the child time to calm down and teach the child that biting is unacceptable. Time outs work best with children who know why they are using the technique.

Biting in kindergarten

If one child bites another in kindergarten, the director may ask the parents of both children to attend a meeting. If the biting continues, the following measures can be taken:

Reducing the time a child spends in kindergarten.

Carefully observe the child to understand in what situations he begins to bite. Some actions may irritate a child. Perhaps replacing such actions with others may be the most effective way to solve the problem.

Regime change.

If even after such measures the child does not stop biting, you may be asked to transfer the child to another kindergarten. A smaller facility, or one with dedicated staff, may be the best solution for a child who constantly bites.

Contact your doctor if:

You were unable to stop your child from biting using all the tips listed above.

You find it difficult to cope with your reaction to your child biting.

The fact that a child bites brings chaos into his life.

You need advice on how to deal with your child's biting behavior.

Biting - Testing

Consult a doctor if you think your child's biting habit is becoming a problem. The doctor will want to know details about your child's behavior and biting. The doctor may ask you what usually happens when a child bites, how you and other family members react to it, and what kind of daily routine your child usually likes.

Questions about situations in which your child bit someone

Does your child bite adults or children more often?

Does your child seem upset or angry when he bites?

How many people are usually around when a child bites?

Are there any places or situations in which a child bites?